


Gate

by hawkfurze



Series: Make an Effort [1]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: F/F, Force drug use, Mutilation, implied emotional abuse, implied self harm, implied suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-02-23 13:57:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 44,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23345881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawkfurze/pseuds/hawkfurze
Summary: In a moment of mercy, she makes a promise that just may be too hard to keep.
Relationships: Female Deputy / Joey Hudson
Series: Make an Effort [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1679119
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

Anna May’s vision was blurry, her head heavy as she slowly lifted it up, trying to focus on the room around her. There were a couple of shapes in it, too blurred to make out. One of them started moving, and she watched it, trying to get her vision to clear. In an instant, Anna May realized who it was and how she got there.

There were peggies chasing after her, she remembers, down by the fertilizer plant she and Sharky had taken just last week. A familiar white truck loaded with men who had hollared after her as she had tried to run, tried to keep up with Boomer who was able to leap ahead a few feet more faster than she could on her own two legs, then a prick on her neck when the Bliss bullet hit her, sending her spiraling down into a dark pit in her head as the peggies carried her off back to-

Where was she?

Anna May wracked her brain, trying to figure it out. Last time John Seed had sent his men to kidnap her, she had woken up in a stream, one man holding her underwater as she almost drowned before she was led back to John, who had tried to finish the job. She had thought he was her friend once, but she guesses that doesn’t matter when the interests of Eden’s Gate were at stake. Strangely enough, Joseph had saved her then, but she's been spending more time being hurt by John’s actions than confused by Joseph’s.

Now Anna May was in a strange room lit up with a chandelier made of antlers above her, the red bulb placed in it cast a sinister red light onto her surroundings. There was a large metal fence next to her where, through it, she could see stairs leading down who knows where.

Across the room was Hudson, bound and gagged with duct tape, struggling to get out of her bonds, desperately trying to call out to Anna May. Her heart hurt and, for a moment, rage threatened to overwhelm her as she saw the state John had left Hudson in. He knew what the Deputy meant to her and for him to have Hudson like this, this close, well, Anna May would show exactly how it makes her feel if John was there right now.

But she didn't have to wait long. She heard a door open behind her and footsteps as John Seed himself entered the room, whistling a tune that was unfamiliar to Anna May. He continued on like this as he approached a nearby table, dropping a toolbox onto it and reached inside for the contents it holds. Hudson had stopped her struggling at this point and was looking away from John, sending occasional, fearful glances in Anna May’s direction as he messed with whatever it was he was looking at. Eventually, John stopped, continuing to look down at the contents in the box before he looked over at Anna May, smiling slightly when he saw that she was awake. He turned to face her, leaning casually on the table as he slowly rocked from side to side, that ever so warm smile he had always worn when he's seen her on his face.

“My parents,” he began, not even giving her a greeting or an explanation to where she was at, “were the first to teach me about the Power of Yes.”

His parents? Anna May has never even heard him talk about his parents before, even after all those hours they have spent talking to each other in the old cafe that was once open in Falls End. Back then, she shared many secrets with him. They spoke of her own family enough times, but John was never much to talk about his, unless it was about his siblings. 

“One day they took me into the kitchen, and threw me onto the ground, and I experienced pain after pain after pain-“ 

At this point John slammed whatever he was holding in his hand onto the table next to him, causing both Hudson and Anna May to jump, but Anna May continued to return John’s stare.

“Something inside of me broke. I wasn’t scared, I was… clear,” John had approached Anna May and turned a light on near her, adjusting it so it shone directly on her, pointing at her chest, where John will tattoo her sin.

“I started to laugh. All I could say was...Yes,” John had grabbed a tattoo gun and turned it on briefly, causing Hudson, through her gag, to yell “NO” at him as he worked. Anna May, however, made no move. 

He continued to talk but Anna May was thinking, why tell her all of this now, after years of asking him to just be honest with her, and now she was finally going to get a life story, like this? 

Anna May grew angrier and angrier the more she sat and let John talk, her own thoughts only being interrupted when John approached her again, poking her hard in the shoulder with a knife sharpener he had picked up from the table. He went back to it and leaned down on one arm, sharpener raised at his side.

“So who wants to go first, hm?”

Was he waiting for a Yes? Anna May shared a look with Hudson before she spoke.

“Why didn’t you ever tell all of this before, John?” She asked. He froze. He must have expected her to be scared, like how she was when he had first kidnapped her. This certainly was a scarier situation than the last time, no Joseph Seed was going to come in and save her now, it was just her, Hudson, and John. She was angry, more furious than that day when she broke ties with him, years before, but her curiosity was just as strong. She had to know.

He looked taken aback, for a moment, but was quick to compose himself.

“Why haven't I told you what?” He asked, keeping that polite, calm attitude he had when he had first walked through the door. Anna May shrugged through her bonds.

“This,” she said, looking around, then glancing at Hudson before looking back at John again, who has not looked away from her face once.

“Why not tell me about your parents before, when I had asked. Why not tell me about the whole cult indoctrinate thing you have going on, or about the atonement stuff. Why tell me now?” Anna May said. John looked furious for a moment, then changed his expression back to that smile he was wearing before.

“Because you were not to be a part of our family before,” he said, “because you had made it clear that you do not wish to be associated with Eden’s Gate. I had no reason to tell you anything that was not a concern of yours. I believe we had this discussion, when was it? Oh yes, when you rudely barged into my home weeks ago, remember?”

“But what do your parents have to do with Eden’s Gate? What do they have to do with us?” Anna May asked. Hudson kept shooting her glances but Anna May didnt let her eyes leave John’s face this time. 

“I get you had all of this fucked up shit going on,” Anna May said, causing John to drop the knife sharpener on the ground. He slowly crouched down and picked it up, still watching Anna May.

“But what the hell is with all of the talk about not being a part of your family? Isn’t being your friend enough? I told you all about me after all, what was the point of all of these lies you’ve been telling me?”

“Are you lecturing me, Deputy?” John asked. His demeanor was calm, but Anna May can hear his voice quiver in anger. She swallowed and spoke again.

“I want to know what your deal is,” She said. John stared at her.

“My ‘deal’ is that you won’t say Yes!” John furiously replied, “You refuse to listen, to renounce your sins, and to attone! Not once have you considered that you may be in the wrong, not once have you ever said that _maybe_ Joseph is right! Just because it’s you, I personally would have been happy with a maybe, but you decided to make your Resistance and even now, in your situation, you still pretend like you have the moral high ground! You have never thought to consider that you may be wrong!”

John looked beside himself with anger but Anna May didn’t budge. She gripped the arm rests of the chair.

“It’s obvious to me which side is in the right, considering the Resistance isn’t kidnapping and torturing people, John,” Anna May said. Hudson was now looking from Anna May to John, who had his back to her. 

John looked like he very much would like to throw the knife sharpener at Anna May, but instead, he took a deep breath and brought back that smile he was wearing when she had first woken up.

“I believe that Deputy Shawn has volunteered herself to atone first,” John said, “thank you, Deputy, for your cooperation, but before we begin, Deputy Hudson needs to go back to her room-“

Hudson had started yelling when John approached her and grabbed her chair, wheeling her up to Anna May, where he stopped. 

“Please don’t do this, John,” Anna May said. John smiled.

“I’ll be back,” he replied, and left the room.

Anna May cursed and began to look around, trying to find something she could use to cut herself out of these bonds, but nothing. She tried to yank her arm out and felt the chair slightly move to the side. She felt her heart skip, her chair had wheels, just like Hudson’s.

Where to go? Definitely not towards where John had taken Hudson. There was the room beyond the grate with the open door. Anna May started to scoot herself towards it, making her way through the entrance and to the top of some stairs. She looked at them, took a deep breath, and pushed herself down the stairs.

She fell over sideways and began to roll, hoping desperately that she won’t wind up with a broken neck. She was about halfway down when the chair broke, and Anna May had enough time to raise her hands before she made it to the bottom of the stairs, the broken arms of the chair still attached to her wrists. 

She pulled the ropes off of her and tossed aside the broken pieces of the chair. She was in John’s bunker, where Hudson was at. She was where he was keeping Hudson. The thought raced through her head, over and over and over again, and she got up. Find Hudson, get Hudson out of here, think about that conversation with John later.

Anna May followed some pipes and they took her to an open hole in the ground. The drop didn’t look deep, she grabbed the edges of the hole and slowly lowered herself down before dropping, landing gently on her feet. She grabbed a piece of a broken pipe that was lying on the ground and began to walk, moving slowly. If this was John’s bunker, then there’s peggies here, and if this really is where she thinks she is at, there are also-

Anna May heard them before she saw them. Down the hall she turned into, she could see a peggie guard facing a jail cell where a few people were crowded, pleading with him. The peggies had given them all plain, white clothes, but the people John has been kidnapping were all down here, locked up as prisoners in Eden’s Gate own death trap.

Anna May felt horrible sneaking past the guarded cell, but this wasn’t the time or place for her to get the peggies attention. She doesn’t even have a gun on her, John had his men take all of her weapons. She will help others when she can, but right now wasn’t the time.

She made it to a large, metal door with a wheel on it. She turned it, pulling the heavy door open and quickly taking the stairs downwards, then jumping behind some boxes when she heard voices coming towards her. She waited until the peggies passed by before she got out, continuing going down the hall. 

Hudson could be anywhere in here. The silo was like a maze, the halls led her in circles and Anna May found herself in the same room repeatedly as she tried to make sense of it. It was also filled with peggies and the occasional angel, Anna May constantly had to hide to be unnoticed by the passing groups, the broken pipe clutched in her hand, waiting to be found, but she never was.

John started talking over the speakers in the bunker, speaking of atonement. Anna May scowled, she was growing sick and tired of hearing about his constant redemption speeches.

“-you know, it could be worse, Deputy,” he said, “Here, you only have to confess, but out in the east, in the Henbane, well, you have already met Faith’s angels. She doesn’t treat them that well, does she?”

Does he even know she has escaped by now or was he just goading her? Anna May tried to listen out for Hudson, but didn't hear any of her muffled yells. She cursed under her breath as she reached another door, her heart leaping when she looked through the window and saw Hudson.

But John was there too. He looked up when Anna May started to open the door, but it was locked. He looked surprised, at first, but then his face broke out into a grin. He stepped around Hudson and made his way towards the door, clicking a button on the side. A speaker next to the door on her end crackled and Anna My realized he was about to speak to her.

“Let me in,” she said, before he could say anything. John closed his mouth and tilted his head, slowly shaking it.

“John Seed, you let me in there right now!”

“So you can attack me? No, Deputy, I believe I won’t,” he said.

“God fucking damn it, John, what the hell do you want from me?”

“A confession,” John said, “I want you to reach atonement. It is the will of the Father.”

“Fuck the Father and fuck your stupid mantra!” Anna May yelled, kicking at the door. John’s smile grew and he turned off the speaker, for a moment, then turned it back on.

“Your sin,” he said, “is Wrath. Your anger has become uncontrollable, I see that now. You have allowed your sin to do horrible harm to innocent people. You have tried to take advantage of others. Do you not see this?”

“Your idea of innocent people are having them go around and attack my friends,” Anna May said, “none of them want to be locked up in a bunker!”

“You don’t understand, and that makes you angry,” John said, “very well. Go. Go spread your Wrath to them, to my family, let yourself become indulged in it. And when you find your friends on the ground, their life bleeding out of them in the dirt, you’ll come to me, and we’ll be waiting.

John looked back to where Hudson was and shut the speaker off. Anna May tried to pull the door open as he began to walk away, but she couldn’t get it to budge. John grabbed Hudson’s chair, who began to struggle, and started to drag her away, pressing a button on something in his hand. Anna May heard a hissing noise behind her and turned to see green gas leaking from a vent beside her. Bliss.

Anna May tugged at the door some more, then let go, her eyes already filling with tears, whether it’s from the toxic gas or because she was so close to getting Hudson, she didn't know. She has to go.

Anna May gave the door one more look then turned and ran up some stairs. She was coughing, the Bliss stung her throat and white sparkles danced around in front of her, making her feel faint. Anna May made it to a large room with a staircase at the end of it. John started to yell through the loudspeakers.

“Go Deputy, leave, before you’re stuck! Indulge in your Wrath, let it consume you! Go!”

Anna May would have started yelling back at him if she didn’t know he couldn’t hear her. Nonetheless, she ran, pushing past peggies who had run down the stairs to meet her. She could hear them yell and heard gunfire, one of the bullets hit the wall next to her and she screamed.

But she didn’t stop, and soon she reached the large bunker door. She ran outside and took a deep breath of fresh, Bliss free air, but she couldn’t stand there for long. She could hear the peggies following after her, so she did the one thing she could. Anna May ran.

“Yes! YES! Do you see this, Deputy? This is the Power of Yes!”

Anna May could hear John outside. She gritted her teeth and spotted one of the white painted dirt quads the peggies sometimes rode parked on the side of the road and ran to it, ducking as she heard more gun shots behind her. Anna May started up the vehicle and began to drive, speeding down the winding road away from John’s bunker, the gun fire and John’s yells a distant noise behind her. She didn’t stop until she had made it a ways down the main road, parking next to one of the billboards for the Drubman Marina.

Anna May got off the vehicle and sunk to the ground, leaning against the quad. Her breath was ragged and she occasionally coughed, the Bliss she breathed in had left a nasty taste in her mouth. She sat like that for a bit, but instead of feeling relieved, Anna May grew more frustrated. 

She was so close! Hudson was right there, but she couldn’t get the stupid door open! Stupid! Stupid!

Anna May drew her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead on them, closing her eyes tight. She stayed like that, then grabbed her radio, which, surprisingly, wasn’t taken from her when she was kidnapped.

“Dutch- are you there,” she said, her voice coming out hoarse.

“Jesus Christ, kid, you scared the shit out of me,” he said, “I’ve been trying to find you for hours, Falls End is on the fritz, where the hell did you go?”

“John’s bunker. He had his men grab me again,” she replied.

“I should have known,” Dutch said, “He didn’t sound all too happy when you took that plant. What happened?”

“He tried to get me to confess to some crime again- but Dutch- Hudson was there,” Anna May said, “She was just sitting right there and I couldn’t even open the door to get her out before John decided to gas the place. She’s still stuck with him.”

“Damn it,” Anna May heard him say, “Listen, kid, don’t beat yourself up about it. You got out, that's what matters.”

“No it really doesn’t,” Anna May said, “There are more people down there and I couldn’t even save one of them! I’m supposed to be a police officer, Dutch!”

“I know, I know, but what can we do right now about it?” Dutch asked, “We can’t get back inside unless we have John’s key or if he decides to grab you again, and we already know which we would rather have happen. You’re going to have to wait until we can get him to come to you.”

“I don’t want him to come after me again, I want this to be over,” Anna May said, then paused.

“He said some strange things down there,” she commented.

“Stranger than what he normally preaches?” Dutch said.

“He talked about his family. He’s never done that before,” Anna May said.

“And why is that important?”

“We used to be friends.”

There was silence.

“And you didn’t feel like mentioning this to me until now?” Dutch said.

“Most people already knew, I thought you did too,” Anna May said.

“So what was so weird this time than the last, what I’m going to assume is, a couple thousand times you chatted with Eden’s Gate’s Baptist?” Dutch asked.

“I don’t get what he is trying to get me to confess to,” Anna May said, “The John I knew didn’t threaten to gut me and hang me out to dry, he was probably the nicest person I ever met.”

“Even with the cult?”

“Yes,” Anna May said, “I thought we were close. I told him everything and, well, I guess it never was what he wanted to hear,” she gave out a bitter laugh.

“It’s just all part of their indoctrinate process,” Dutch said, “Say Yes, kiss Joseph’s ass, and then you’re in. He wants you to submit to Joseph Seed’s bullshit and he’s willing to cut the confession out of you.”

“Maybe, but I don’t know, something doesn’t feel right,” Anna May said, “I’m still not sure why the cult just snapped. I want answers.”

“Kid, I’ve been looking for them for years. Trust me,” Dutch said, “Anyway, you best make your way back to Falls End, tell everyone that you’re okay. I’ll radio the sheriff that you called and hopefully they’ll stop thinking that Faith threw you off the statue again.”

“Alright,” Anna May laughed, “thanks, Dutch.”

“Watch your back out there,” he said, then the radio clicked.

Anna May put the radio down at her side and lifted herself off of the ground, getting back onto the quad and starting the vehicle up again. 

She’ll do better next time.


	2. Chapter 2

The Hope County Prison was abandoned for years before the Cougars made it their base for their fight against Faith Seed in the Henbane River region. Right now, they were busy, the damage from the cult's last attack at the prison was still apparent, but the door was patched with whatever scrap the Cougars were able to scavenge and stronger than before. No peggie was going to get through it now.

Anna May approached the doors, still on the quad. She had herown car once, but John had taken that when he had first kidnapped her, just as he’s been stealing from everyone in Holland Valley. She wasn’t surprised, he hated Cynthia and never shied away from telling her so. She doubts she’ll see the car again, it’s probably in the river somewhere, out of sight and unusable. The thought of all those years she spent working on that car being wasted made her sad as she reached the gate.

The metal doors opened with a loud screech and Anna May drove inside, parking the quad close to a wall. A couple of residents yelled greetings at her from above on the walls and she raised a hand back and waved, then put it down as Sheriff Earl Whitehorse approached her.

“Jesus Christ, thank God you’re safe, Rook,” he said as he reached her. Anna May gave a sigh.

“I didn’t get Hudson,” she said, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Whitehorse replied.

“It feels like it,” Anna May admitted, “I was so close. She was right _there-_ “

“You don’t have to explain. Dutch told me everything,” Whitehorse said. Anna May nodded at him.

“John may come for me again, I don’t know,” Anna May said, “I’ll need to be ready when he does.”

“Then what are you doing here?” Whitehorse asked.

“Tracy said she and Adelaide were working on getting rid of that statue of Joseph and asked me to help out,” Anna May replied.

“Oh, yes, she’s been talking about that for the last few days,” Whitehorse said, nodding.

“I’ll go find her,” Anna May said, but after a few steps, she turned towards Whitehorse again.

“Sheriff…?” she said, hesitantly.

“Yes, Rook?” He asked.

“I’m going to have to kill them, the Seeds, am I?” Anna May said. Whitehorse took a deep breath.

“I don’t like all of this fighting as much as you do,” he began, “but with how things are going, that looks like the only option we have, yes.”

“And we can’t at least talk the others out of it?” Anna May said, “We were after Joseph, not them-“

“If we were able to get Joseph Seed into government custody then his family would have been in almost as much trouble as he is,” Whitehorse said, “They have the same stakes in this with nothing to lose. Just talking to them won’t work.”

“I know, I just want it to be that easy,” Anna May said. Whitehorse gave her a curious look.

“Are you still upset about John Seed?” He asked. She nodded.

“I know I shouldn’t, I really shouldn’t,” she said. Anna May leaned against the brick wall of the prison.

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t be,” Whitehorse said, “But he’s not the person he made us all think he was.”

“I wish he was,” Anna May said bitterly. She stared off towards the tops of the trees above the prison walls then nodded her head, getting off of the wall.

“I-I’m going to go,” she said, then made her way into the prison where she is certain Tracy Ladar was waiting for her.

———————

“That's the last of it, sweetheart!” Adelaide yelled. Anna May looked down at the running peggies below, gripping the side of the copter for dear life, watching huge chunks of concrete fall off from the metal skeleton that used to hold up the statue of the Father.

Tracy had the idea and the plan all ready for her when she arrived at the prison block most of the Cougar’s plans were made at: Take Adelaide and Tulip to the statue and destroy it. Anna May agreed with her, the statue was an eyesore and a waste of concrete, she had just wished the whole “getting hundreds of feet up into the air” part of the plan didn’t exist. She hates heights and Tracy knows it.

“I don’t know why they’re so set on keeping it around if they’re so strung up on the world ending,” Tracy had said, “Best part is, Faith’s going to be the one whose going to get in trouble for letting it get ruined. It’ll show her that it was a mistake to fuck with us.”

Anna May’s radio crackled as the last of the concrete landed on the ground.

“Holy shit, you both did it!” Tracy yelled.

“Hope the view down there looks better now cause we’re on our way back to see it,” Anna May replied.

“Not just yet,” Tracy said, a note of mischief in her voice.

“What next, honey?” Adelaide said, leaning over to talk into the radio with Anna May.

“Faiths got a book in there, her own personal copy of Joseph’s bullshit,” Tracy said, “It would be a real slap in the face to her if you got rid of it.”

“You gotta be kidding me,” Anna May said. She already hated being up here, now she's gotta get on the tower? Could she just get back onto the ground?

“Just do this thing, then no more copters. Scouts honor,” Tracy said.

“Alright, fine” Anna May said, then shut the radio off.

“I’ll bring Tulip over there, you just do what you need to do before they start shooting at me again,” Adelaide said. Anna May nodded at her as they began to move. Tulip flew over the statue and Anna May hooked a rope to the helicopter’s side, giving it a huge tug before she jumped over the side of the copter. She made it to the wire mesh statue, letting go of the rope and lowering herself down the broken platforms until she found an alcove.

The concrete slot was still whole and in it was an old worn book of brown leather. Anna May approached it, picking up the book, then pulled a lighter out. She had just raised it, about to light the book, when she heard Faith, her voice echoing in Anna May’s head as it always does when the Siren wished to speak to her.

“Don’t do it!” She said, “That's His Word! Please-“

Anna May hesitated and for a moment, she was inclined to ignore her. Instead, she studied the book. It did look worn, Faith must have read it many times since she got it. Anna May put the lighter away and opened it, thumbing briefly through the yellow pages.

“Please put it back,” Faith said, her voice coming out timid and almost… scared? That made Anna May curious. 

“What's in here?” She asked the empty air, but Faith’s voice did not reply. Anna May looking down again at the book, then closed it, turning away from the alcove, the book now tucked under her arm.

“Wait!” Faith’s voice pleaded with her as Anna May made her way back to Tulip, “You can’t take it- you don’t understand-“

“I’m taking it because I want to understand,” Anna May said quietly, just before she began to make the climb back up into the helicopter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not super happy with this chapter but most of my plans for this story happen when John’s fight happens. I would have done more with this chapter but it felt appropriate to end it here.


	3. Chapter 3

Anna May didn’t spend all of her time not fighting Eden’s Gate at Falls End or at the prison. After it became apparent that Faith, John, and- she only can assume when she finally goes to the Whitetails- Jacob were going to try their hardest to capture and indoctrinate her into the cult, the Deputy decided it was the best decision to be on the move as much as she can be.

Right now she was in the woods in a tree. Boomer was laying against the trunk on the ground while Anna May had taken to hiding in the hunters nest a couple of feet above him. She hated heights, she really did, but at least from here she could see any approaching peggies or wild animals.

She was reading the book she had taken from the statue of Joseph days ago. Tracy was not happy that she didn’t burn the book like she asked her to, but Anna May wanted to read it. She could have taken one of the other plain white books that were in the other outposts, but this was Faith’s personal copy. Maybe there was something in this that can give her answers that the other ones can’t.

But there was not as much information in it as she hoped there would have been. Joseph’s Word, the same word John and Faith keep obsessing about, was nothing more than an autobiography, the occasional teaching here and there, but not much else. Anna May had read through it once already and was now halfway through it again, hoping she missed something. She may not be learning anything new about why the cult had decided to put as much attention on her as it has been, but she certainly was learning a lot about the Seed brothers.

Especially about John. Anna May didn’t know how to feel when she read his chapter in Joseph’s book, horrified at what he’s been through or upset because he never told her any of this. She had thought his behavior was odd, years ago, when she had finally opened up to him about why she had moved to Hope County. He had listened to everything; her parents' abuse, their negligence with her siblings, their own hatred for her the day she left that place for good. At the time, she had believed most of it was her fault. John believed otherwise, and he was right.

John’s upbringing wasn’t too much different, he was tossed from home to home before he was adopted by some family called the Duncans. His story from the silo started to make sense to Anna May as she read the details Joseph wrote down at the psychological and physical abuse his younger brother endured in their hands, but as she continued to read this story, she felt angry, but more so, she felt hurt.

John told her he was a private person, but here were answers to a lot of questions about him that she asked that he refused to answer, all written down and bound in the book that lay in her hands. She could have known at any time, he could have told her all of this himself, but he didn’t. He didn’t say anything, even though it was easy enough for him to tell to his brothers whole fucking cult. 

Even with the book, however, there was one thing missing from it that she desperately wanted to know. John Seed wanted her to confess, to what she didn’t know. It would be easy enough to admit to her ‘crimes’ against Eden’s Gate, but she thinks those were obvious enough. There had to be something under the surface of this whole operation going on.

And then there was Joseph’s threat to John, and Faith’s reaction to Anna May taking the book. Faith’s section was brief, not explaining much more than what Faith had already told the Deputy, that before she met the Father she was just a lost, young girl addicted to drugs. Eden’s Gate got her cleaned and now she goes around turning people into angels. A simple story for Joseph’s favorite sibling.

Sometimes she would stop reading and think she should just give up. She owes John nothing, especially after everything he’s been doing, why waste her time with this when clearly all he wants is to indulge in his own personal vendetta against her. Why waste her time with someone who refuses to listen? 

But she can’t. John isn’t going to give her an answer and neither is the book. She will have to find it out from someone, or something, else.

Anna May sighed and looked up, watching the setting sun through the treetops. Night was approaching and she needed to leave soon. She stood up and stretched, then reached a hand out to the trunk next to her, keeping a hand on it as she took a look down at the meshed floor of the hunters nest, the ground clearly visible below her. She's fallen off worse, but if she had it her way, she wouldn’t ever go on top of anything higher than the Widowmaker ever again.

She stood there, thinking about this, when her radio clicked, static voices coming through the speaker. Anna May grabbed it.

“Hey, it’s Deputy Shawn.”

“Deputy.”

“Hi, John,” Anna May said. She sat back down, moving the book off the chair, letting it sit on her lap.

“You have been quiet these last few days,” John said, “I hope you are not planning anything regrettable.”

“Not yet. I’ve been doing some reading,” Anna May said. She could hear John take a breath.

“So you did take Faith’s book,” he said, “That was very stupid of you. Foolish.”

“Why? I just wanted to read it,” Anna May replied, “You guys wanted me to, what was it, ‘accept the Father’s word?’ Well, I’m reading it.”

“And? Have you learned anything,” John asked, sounding maybe too eager to Anna May. She shook her head.

“Nope. No revelation. No burst of inspiration to kidnap my friends and force them to say yes, or whatever you’re into,” she said. She could hear something slam on John’s end.

“That is… rather unfortunate,” John Seed replied in a strained voice.

“I have been wondering, however,” Anna May said, “You wanted a confession, right?”

“Are you asking for atonement?”

“Jesus Christ John, no, I’m asking for answers,” Anna May snapped.

“And I have been trying to provide them, but you have been rather resistant.”

“It doesn’t seem that way,” Anna May replied. She could hear a sigh on John’s end.

“Very well. What questions am I not answering?”

“Lets see, Oh yeah, I got a good one, a couple really!” Anna May said sarcastically, “ Why don’t we start with, I don’t know, why's your brother covering my back? What am I doing that is making you think the world is suddenly going to end or, I don’t know, what about all of this shit about you that you have been keeping from me for years!”

“Keep your wrath in check, or you’re not going to get anything from me,” John said. Anna May gave a huge sigh.

“Can you just help me understand what the hell is going on,” she said through gritted teeth. 

“Hmm, very well,” John said, “Let's start with your third question. Why did I not say anything? Well, what would knowing have done? You were already beating yourself up over your own problems, would telling you about my parents make you feel any better? No, it would not have. You used to be such a self depreciative person, and so naive. If I had told you about my parents earlier you would have found some way to have blamed yourself for it.”

“And furthermore,” he continued, “I decide what I want to tell people about myself. You don’t control me and you can’t make me tell you things I don’t want to tell you. The last thing I want is for you to feel pity for me.”

“You just want to control how people see you,” Anna May said. John laughed.

“Yes, I guess you can call it that, but it is my story, and I get to decide how to share it,” John said, “Of course I would rather you never learned about my past at all, but that was a preference that I will now unfortunately not be able to have anymore. I figured as much since I won’t be able to keep secrets from you anymore once you finally decide to listen.”

Of course he would do that. Anna May gripped the radio tighter in her right hand.

“So why does Joseph not want to have me killed anymore? Your family tried hard enough before the car crash to get me and the marshal. You and Faith could have easily murdered me. You just let me walk out of your bunker. What's his plan?”

“I did not let you walk out of that bunker,” John said, “In fact, I was rather… furious when you left, but I know you will be coming back since I have your girlfriend there.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Anna May said.

“Hmm, crush still? A shame that you have been infatuated with her for so long but never made a move, but maybe you can make it official once you join us. Jacob is very good at motivating courage, I’m sure you and him will have a lot to talk about once you become a part of our family” he said matter of factly. Anna May gave a deep sigh.

“So Joseph just wants me to join Eden’s Gate?”

“He wants you to see the truth and listen to him. To let him save you,” John replied.

“Why? And why now?” Anna May asked.

“Because if you don’t then the Collapse will come,” John said. Anna May rolled her eyes.

“How?” She asked wearily.

“I just told you, it will be because you refused to listen,” John said.

“Bombs don’t just fall out of the sky ‘cause I don’t want to join a cult, John,” Anna May said. She shook her head.

“There's more to it than that,” John said, “I would be able to help you, you just need to confess. Just one little confession and your troubles will stop. Your friends may not listen but once they see your devotion and cooperation then they will see too. You could stop this, just accept the Father’s word, Deputy. Say Yes.”

“I’m not- to what?” Anna May asked, “What the hell do you want me to say? ‘Sorry I’ve been blowing up your cult shit?’ Jesus fucking Christ, John, don’t you see how stupid all of this sounds? Why don’t you give me an apology for hurting my friends rather than trying to get me to apologize for throwing a pair of handcuffs on your brother!?”

There was a very long and uncomfortable silence in which the radio did not turn on at all. Anna May thought she may have scared John off, or made him mad enough to break his own radio, but as she made a move to stand up again, he came back on, the static from the radio loudly announcing his return.

“You are confessing to the wrong crimes, Wrath,” he said in an icy voice, “I do not need anymore reminders on how you have let yourself stay so far away from the path I had spent years trying to lead you to. Perhaps maybe your wrath isn’t the only thing at work here, but we can easily figure that part out once you say Yes.”

“What the hell do you mean by that?” Anna May asked.

“If you do not know the answer to that by now then we have nothing left to say to each other,” John said. He sounded furious, far more furious than Anna May has ever heard him.

“What are you angry at me for?” She asked, against her better judgement.

“Goodbye, Deputy,” was John’s reply, and then he was gone, the static from the radio faded and Anna May was left alone, now her only company being Boomer, who had looked up when Anna May started talking and was watching her curiously.

She sighed and rubbed her eyes with one hand, grabbing the book with the other. She stood up and made her way back to the ladder, climbing slowly down to where the dog was at. Boomer stood up, tilting his head at Anna May. She scratched the top of his head.

“Let's go back to Falls End, buddy,” she said. Boomer lifted his muzzle up to lick her hand, causing the Deputy to smile down at him. She then sighed and led the way through the brush, heading down the dirt path back to the Resistance’s base in Falls End.

————————

“You’ve been keeping your nose in that thing for the last few days now, are you sure you’re not going to go peggie on us?” Mary May raised an eyebrow at Anna May then glared down at the book she had placed on her bar, wrinkling her nose.

“No, I think I got everything I could out of it,” Anna May replied. She laid a hand on the cover, tapping the cross on it with an index finger. 

“Just make sure you take it with you next time you leave. The last thing I want is more peggie crap lying around,” Mary May said as she headed off towards the kitchen.

“Hey, it’s my peggie crap!” Anna May yelled after her, “I’ll just, toss it off at John’s Ranch or something-“

“Your ranch. Finders keepers,” Casey called from the kitchen, ducking down towards the small window behind the counter to give the Deputy a grin before he continued to work.

Anna May looked at the cover and opened it, flipping through the pages quickly and lazily with one hand, but not actually reading anything she passed. Her conversation with John earlier that week had been fresh on her mind, bugging her as she continued on helping, bit by bit, to clear the county.

She certainly has been having a fun time working with one man named Larry, a rather enthusiastic man who was determined to reach Mars to fight something that sounded much more interesting than half of what Joseph and his siblings said was going to end the world.

“Do you think Eden’s Gate would be less violent if they were trying to fight aliens instead of like, the apocalypse?” Anna May loudly asked Mary May. She could hear her groan.

“That's the kind of conversation you should have with Sharky, not me,” Mary May said. Anna May shrugged.

Besides the possibility of Larry’s war on Mars, the other weird thing Anna May has noticed is how radio silent John has gotten. Larry’s Mars mission was not a quiet one, and there were plenty of things the Deputy had to break and steal from the cult to actually complete his ridiculous requests, but John’s usual threats of violence were nonexistent. Anna May could only make two assumptions from it; that John was planning something horrible, or whatever Anna May had said to him that day in the tree had upset him enough to not want to speak to her.

No, she wasn’t doing anything to make more of an effort to stay under the radar, but the silence was scary, and the added threat of Hudson being his hostage made Anna May only worry more. 

She stood up, tucking the book under her arm.

“I’m going to go see the Pastor!” She said to Mary May.

“Fine, just make sure you take that book with you!” Mary May replied. Anna May pushed her way out of the door to the Spread Eagle. It was night time, gray clouds covered the moon, making everything darker than normal. Anna May shivered, sure that Falls End will be waking up to rain in the morning. She followed the road, soon approaching the small town's church. Anna May stepped up the stairs, noticing the light on inside, and knocked. Footsteps approached the door and it creaked open, Pastor Jerome looked down at her from the entrance, then opened the door wide.

“Deputy. It’s good to see you,” he said, moving to the right to let Anna May through.

“Hello,” she said, taking a few steps inside. The church was bathed in a dim warm glow, the few candles that provided the building with light farther towards the podium, one or two on the pews, and another on one of the windows. The church was empty, the Resistance currently lacked hurt members that needed the pastors help, and so they were alone.

As Anna May looked around, Pastor Jerome closed the door behind her, making sure it was locked before he moved past her.

“What brings you to my doors at this time, Deputy?” Pastor Jerome asked, turning to face her. Anna May stood there for a moment, struggling to take anything from the questions that have been swimming in her head for weeks, just to give Jerome an answer. She finally ended up holding out the book to him, letting the pastor take it from her hands when he reached out to grab it.

“It’s Faith’s personal copy,” she mumbled as he opened it, looking down at the open page for a moment before he closed it again.

“I don’t plan on joining the peggies,” she said continued, “I just-“

“You want to save John Seed,” Pastor Jerome said. Anna May scowled.

“I want to save Hudson. And Pratt. And Burke,” she said, “John obviously doesn’t need any saving and if he did, I certainly don’t know from what.”

“What reason did you come for me for then,” Pastor Jerome asked. Anna May spent another moment struggling to come up with an answer, before she sat down.

“I came to you because of something about John,” Anna May muttered, doing her best to not look up at the Pastor, to avoid the same upset looks she always got when she even brings up the mere mention of the Baptist. 

“What happened?” Anna May was surprised when he spoke. She looked up but instead of looking disappointed, Pastor Jerome looked curious, placing the book down next to Anna May on the pew before taking a seat in the one beside her. 

“I think he’s mad at me for something that doesn’t have to do with the cult or his brother,” Anna May said, “I, uh, was talking to him on the radio about a week ago. I got mad and, well, yeah it was sarcastic, but I gave him a “confession.””

“And he did not like it?” Pastor Jerome asked. Anna May shook her head.

“A little bit, but he said it was not what he was looking for,” Anna May gestured out at nothing, then sighed.

“He said he wasn’t looking for me admitting that I was breaking his things, but that doesn’t make sense to me. He knows everything about me, and I should know everything about him to, but he’s like a stranger to me now more than he was when we were friends, and whatever he’s doing is so erratic and-“ Anna May couldn’t find the words to continue her thought and instead gestured out with her hand again, hoping that maybe Pastor Jerome would understand. He gave a slow nod.

“So he has a personal issue with you. Does this have to do with your previous friendship?”

“I don’t know,” Anna May said, “I don’t know if it is! When this all started, he practically begged me to join Eden’s Gate, made it sound like he could save my soul or whatever, and now he’s making it seem like it’s more than just that! I am sure he picked Hudson on purpose because he knows that I- well, I consider her a dear friend, and he closed down the cafe we use to hang out at, and now-“

Anna May sputtered out more words and found her eyes tearing up. She stopped to wipe them and felt a gentle hand on her arm. She looked over and saw Pastor Jerome had moved over to crouch by her, waiting for her to finish.

“Joseph threatened him,” she finished lamely, reaching up again to wipe her eyes.

“You know, Deputy,” Pastor Jerome said, “There is no shame in still caring about someone you broke ties with.”

“But I shouldn’t!” Anna May insisted, “None of the Seeds are going to stand down as long as Joseph is telling them what to do, and after I saw what John was doing in that silo, I don’t think I can just forgive him for everything!”

“You don’t have to,” Pastor Jerome replied.

“I don’t think I want to kill him,” Anna May admitted quietly. She stared off at the shadowy corner behind the podium and sighed.

“John is making this whole thing sound like something personal but he won’t tell me what his deal is, not without a yes and a confession. I thought that book would give me answers, but it only gave me Joseph’s backstory about how he found them after they were seperated and other tragic backstory crap,” Anna May sniffed and looked out the window to her right, but it was too dark to see anything. Jerome moved his hand off of her arm and stood up to walk up to the podium.

Anna May watched him and slowly felt herself grow more frustrated.

“So why are you not telling me that I’m wasting my time?” Anna May asked finally. Jerome stopped next to the podium and turned to face her.

“If this is something you feel so inclined to do, I will not stop you,” Pastor Jerome said, “I trust your judgement and I trust you to make the right choices. Whether or not you want to continue to pursue this is up to you, but whatever you decide may bring more harm to people than good.”

Anna May looked down, but Pastor Jerome wasn’t done.

“-Or what you may do will save more lives. We don’t know, but that is something only the Lord will know, unless you try. If you wish to try to bring John Seed back to the light, then I won’t stop you.”

Anna May nodded, still staring at the ground, then looked back up.

“Thanks, Pastor Jerome,” she looked down at the book by her then back up at the pastor.

“Can I leave this here? I don’t think I’m going to need it anymore,” Pastor Jerome nodded and Anna May stood up, leaving him alone in the church.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK how to feel about this chapter but its whatever. Theres a point In this story I really wanna reach, getting there tho is just really difficult.
> 
> I make so many references to John and Anna May’s past and thats cause that time where they were on good terms with each other meant a lot to Anna May. Who knows how much it meant to John too.


	4. Chapter 4

Anna May was walking, alone, down the road in the Henbane River region, days later, running over her conversation with the pastor in her head again. 

She had driven back to the Hope County Jail the night of that conversation. If she was going to do what the pastor suggested, it would have made more sense for her to stay in Holland Valley, but she had a feeling that after her and John’s last talk, it wouldn’t be much of a good idea for her to stay. It may be best to let him cool off before she speaks to him again about-

Well, she doesn’t know. Anna May furrowed her eyebrows, frowning at the black road under her. John wasn’t going to give her answers. Whatever has him so mad at her, he wants her to figure it out by herself, but besides what she has been doing to the cult for that last month, she didn’t know what that was or what he’s looking for, and no amount of coaxing from her is going to get him to give her answers. So she will have to look elsewhere.

Maybe that's why she was here now. Anna May sighed and looked off down the road, where it turned to be hidden by the woods on her right, the bend hiding any possible approaching peggie vehicles from her sight.

She could go to the Whitetails, maybe see if she could talk to Jacob. Anna May felt sick the moment she thought it, stopping to shake her head before she kept walking. No, she doesn’t even want to know what that man would do to her if he caught her. She only met the oldest Seed brother once, and that experience had already proven to her how intimidating he can be. Now that the cults let him loose, she can’t imagine what he has decided to do to the Resistance up north. She doesn’t want to imagine what Staci Pratt is going through right now.

So Jacob was out of the question. Her only other options are Faith and Joseph Seed.

No, not Joseph. If she steps even a foot onto that island that Joseph had set up as the cult's main base, she's going to find herself with more than just one bullet in her back, all politeness that the Seeds have currently been showing her, if it could even be called that, thrown out the window. 

If the Seed brothers are not going to tell her anything, then that only leaves-

“Is your mind preoccupied?”

Almost as if Anna May’s thoughts have summoned her, there she was. Faith Seed, or rather, the apparition of Faith, was walking with Anna May on her right, the typical cloud of Bliss the Deputy has started to associate with her floating freely at Faith’s feet. Faith looked up at her, giving her a huge grin, one that, to Anna May, looked unreal and plastic. 

“How do you do that,” Anna May asked, “I didn’t even know you were there.”

Faith continued to smile but didn't give her an answer. Anna May sighed.

“So, let me guess. You’re going to continue to try to convince me to listen to the Father? Make me ‘walk the path?’ Ditch my friends?”

“There is no need for you to mock me like that,” Faith gave Anna May a hurt look.

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I walked your path and didn’t learn anything. I dragged Sharky with me too, he hated every moment of it. But no revelation or anything for either of us. You may need to change it up a bit.”

“And yet you stole my book,” Faith said, “That was my copy of the Father's Word, and you stole it. And yet, you didn’t destroy it.”

“Yeah,” Anna May replied. They were reaching around the bend and Anna May could see the river farther down over the treeline. Faith gave a small smile.

“Your mind is plagued with doubts. You seek the truth but you’re just pulled this way and that,” Faith swayed as she walked and Anna May was afraid that she would run into her, but Faith kept her distance.

“I was like you, like a mouse on a wheel, no matter how fast I ran I went nowhere. You’re still running, and I can get you off of that wheel. Leave your fears, join us in the Bliss. Let me show you what we can accomplish together; a world without fear, a world where we love and care for each other.”

“So you can turn me into an angel?” Anna May raised an eyebrow at her.

“So I can free you,” corrected Faith, that same hurt look appeared on her face again and Anna May shook her head.

“I don’t think so,” Anna May made to walk away from her, but Faith spoke up again.

“Surely there is something you want, why else are you looking for answers? Why are you making an effort to learn more about us if you don’t want to listen? How can I help you?”

“Help me?” Anna May spun around to look at Faith, about to give her a piece of her mind, when she stopped. Anna May relaxed then gave Faith a long look before she spoke.

“Can you,” Anna May said, slowly, “give me answers to some of my questions. John wants me to give a confession, but when I tried to, he said me admitting my crimes against your group are not what he’s looking for. What am I supposed to be confessing to?”

Faith actually looked shocked for a moment, but quickly gave Anna May that smile again before giving a small giggle.

“I can give you your answers, but you have to let go of your fears and trust me,” Faith said, and held out a hand for Anna May to grab.

Anna May studied it. She tricked her like this before, appearing out of nowhere to drag Anna May off to the top of Joseph’s statue, just so she could push her off. Anna May shouldn’t grab her hand, she should know better. Faith is a liar and has already lied to her many times, should she really let herself be fooled again?

But she needed answers, and if this was the only way she was going to get them, then so be it. After taking a deep breath, Anna May grabbed Faith’s outstretched hand.

It was as if she was suddenly pulled into a snowstorm. The world around her became a cloudy white haze that blew around viciously in all directions. Anna May felt Faith grip her hand tighter and, as quickly as the storm appeared, it was gone, and Anna May was back at that beautiful field that Faith had taken her to once before.

Tall, dead, broken limbs in twisted shapes lined the path towards a fully grown crooked tree. Faith was humming a tune, gently walking hand in hand with Anna May up the path towards some shapes sitting under the tree branches.

“Where are we going?” Anna May asked, focusing on trying to keep her head straight. The Bliss was messing with her, not like it had in John’s silo where it had tried to suffocate her, but rather settled on her, trying to become a part of her. With a start, Anna May realized she didn’t even know _where_ they were going, but she couldn’t pull her hand out of Faith’s loose grip. She was mesmerized by the scenery around her and finding the effort to do anything but focus on that and walking forward was impossible.

“You’ll see,” Faith said, smiling up at her. Anna May swallowed and turned her attention to the distant shapes. She told Faith she will trust her, just this once, so she will see where the Siren will lead her this time. 

In almost no time at all, yet for what seemed like an eternity, they finally reached the crooked tree, and the shapes became clearer as Anna May realized they were people, then realized that Burke was one of those people, and standing over them speaking was Joseph Seed.

He seemed to be in the middle of a sermon as they approached, the peggies and Burke, who had been watching him with rapid attention, looked over to Faith and Anna May only when they reached the half circle, Joseph stopped his sermon when they did, looking at Anna May.

Anna May could feel Faith let go of her hand and Anna May felt as if the world was moving her for her, Joseph was approaching her and he reached out his hands to place them on her shoulders, stopping the world with him. He studied her for a moment, giving her a long look, before he began to speak.

“You have come to seek me out,” Joseph said.

“Not intentionally,” Anna May replied. The Bliss made her head spin and focusing on Joseph in front of her took a good bit of her will power. She looked over her shoulder at Faith, Burke, and the crowd sitting by them, but that was a mistake. Her head spun horribly and Anna May stumbled in her spot, causing Joseph to let go of her. He reached out a hand to steady her as she went to face him again.

“Did you plan for this?” She asked, “Did you ask Faith to bring me to you?”

“You are looking for answers, and Faith has brought you to me,” Joseph corrected her, “You are uncertain and lost. Just as everyone here once was.”

At this Joseph waved a hand at the people behind her. Anna May didn’t turn to look at them and Joseph continued.

“God brought you here, to me, and I can show you what is going to come. The world as we know it cannot support itself anymore on its greed and selfishness that it has built itself on-“ Joseph let go of Anna May and had started to walk away from her. Anna May started to follow him, taking a slow and shaky step, then another. Luckily Joseph didn’t walk too far and he stopped to face her as a nuke went off in the distance. Anna May could hear the boom and see the large orange cloud in the distance, but didn’t feel any of the effects from the explosion, the breeze remained cool and pleasant, the Bliss still swimming lazily in the air.

It’s not real. Anna May shook her head, trying to shake the vision away, but the cloud was still there, a bright orange spot in the otherwise green tinged scenery. 

“The world is going to Collapse,” Joseph continued, “Our leaders are too weak to protect themselves, they would rather watch whole families torn apart, innocent lives taken, because they refuse to see what is in front of them. You know this too well.”

That feeling of being moved happened again and Anna May found herself in front of Joseph and he placed his hands on her shoulders once more.

“My doubts have nothing to do with the Collapse,” Anna May said when she stopped moving, “Yeah, I’m having some second thoughts, not about your prophecy, but about how to deal with your family.”

Joseph frowned and it was almost as if there was a filter being placed over her eyes. The world around her grew brighter and brighter until all she could see was Joseph, then he was gone too, and she was alone in this empty white space, but not for long.

As quickly as her vision went white, it started growing red, and soon Anna May was able to make out the scenery around her. She was back at the Eden’s Gate Compound, but it was different. Most of the buildings were blown over, the church was still mostly standing, but it was on fire. But not just the church, the trees around her too were covered in growing red and orange flames that leapt higher and higher into the bright red sky, the ruined wreck of a vehicle laid nearby, crashed into the compound in some horrific accident.

And in the middle of this vision stood Joseph, who was watching her calmly from some distance away. Anna May watched him in terror as he stood, seemingly calm, among the destruction he was showing her.

“Wh-what is this?” Anna May asked him. Joseph lifted a hand out to the ruins around them.

“This is what is in our future,” he said, “This is what God has shown me. Our world is ending, can’t you see that? Look around you, at what you see in the news, the people we have in charge! You can see it! This is the path you want to stay on, this is what is coming!”

Anna May still felt dizzy and shaky. They must still be in the Bliss, how else could he have shown her this? She gave the world around her one more look, then spoke.

“I came here to talk about your brother,” she said. Joseph looked disappointed. 

“When I heard you stole the book, I had thought you finally were willing to listen,” Joseph admitted.

“I stole that book because I wanted to know why you were threatening John,” Anna May said, “He has some kind of personal vendetta against me and I have a feeling it’s your fault.”

Joseph had made his way closer to her.

“You do not need to worry about John,” Joseph said, “God has a bigger task for you.”

“I don’t give a shit!” Anna May yelled at him, “Don’t you even care about what's going to happen? My friends want me to kill your siblings. They want me to _kill_ them, don’t you understand that?”

“And you have no intention of doing so?” Joseph sounded surprised and Anna May shrugged.

“Not if things keep going on the way they are now,” Anna May said.

“There is one way for you to end this,” Joseph said.

“I’m not joining Eden’s Gate,” Anna May said.

“Just listen to me,” Joseph said, “Look around at the world. I told you, our leaders cannot and will not protect everyone from what is to come, but God has given me that strength to bring the Chosen into the new world, and God has given you a gift as well.”

“What gift?” Anna May asked, raising an eyebrow at Joseph.

“To prevent this,” Joseph waved a hand around at the world around him. Anna May gave it a look then shook her head.

“I still don’t get how you guys think I’m going to end the world,” Anna May said, “And I told you, I’m not here to talk about the Collapse, I’m here to talk about your brother and what you said to him to hate me so much.”

“John doesn’t hate you,” Joseph said, “John never hated you. He wanted to guide you on the path to salvation and to offer you the choice to join us in Eden’s Garden. Instead he almost was led astray because of what you did.”

“I didn’t do anything to him,” Anna May said, “We just went and got like, coffee a couple of times a week. I showed him my favorite hiking spot. I invited him to parties. We did _normal people shit_.”

Joseph just continued to stare at her, making Anna May feel more self conscious. He had made her feel like that before, back in the church when, somehow, he made it feel like the whole world was watching her, waiting with bated breath to see what she would do, only breathing again when she put the handcuffs on him. Now that feeling was back, the burning world around her was silent, disrupted only occasionally by the crackling of the flames around her, but even that was muffled.

The uncomfortable silence continued on for some time and Anna May finally broke it, crossing her arms in front of her before speaking to Joseph again.

“I want straight answers, Joseph, not the cryptic shit that you’ve been giving me,” she continued, “I’m tired of the games you and your family have been playing with me and I’m sick of these secrets.”

“We have nothing else to talk about,” Joseph said, “Not when you still refuse to see.”

“That what, that the world is ending!?” Anna May asked, “I get it, the world sucks! A lot of things in it suck, but I’m not going to listen to a guy whose family is killing my friends!”

Joseph was walking up to her but Anna May stood her ground. He reached her and shook his head. He almost looked disappointed.

“You were close,” Joseph said, “But you still don’t have faith. You're bound by your sin and by your fears.”

“I’m trying to save people,” Anna May replied.

“Then _listen_ to me,” Joseph pleaded, “Listen to what God has been telling me, to what I have been telling you. Look at everything that has been happening and how it all could have been avoided and help us build the future God has promised my family!”

“Not if it means I have to sacrifice my friends in the process,” Anna May replied. Joseph nodded, then looked at the ground. Large white Bliss flowers were growing at their feet. Joseph crouched and Anna May found herself crouching with him, looking at the flowers, mesmerized.

“Humanity is corrupt and unforgiving,” Joseph was saying as he reached out to one of the flowers, “It is a poison, one that can only be drawn out in the most terrible way. I want to save those that are deserving, and I can save you too. You will realize this one day.”

Joseph was handing the white flower to Anna May and she reached out, as if against her own will, to grab it. As her hand closed around it, her world went white again, and her mind became empty.

————————

Anna May felt hands grab her roughly and the white fog began to clear, very slowly. The first thing she realized was that she was lying down on something soft. Someone was pacing and talking quickly and nervously. Anna May tried to focus on the voice but it took her a few seconds to realize that it was Sharky. He was saying something to someone else and Anna May looked up to see two figures holding her down, another standing nearby, watching. 

She immediately threw her hands up to throw them off and grabbed at an arm that was plunging a knife at her chest.

No, not a knife, a syringe, a big one at that. Anna May struggled to keep it off of her.

“Rook!” She heard Whitehorse say. Anna May looked to her left and realized he was one of the figures holding her down, the other was Tracy. Virgil stood nervously behind them, Sharky stopped his pacing and ran up next to him, staring down at Anna May with big eyes.

“I need you to hold still!” Tracy yelled. Anna May looked at her, then around, but the rest of the room was still a mist. Flowers grew out of the perfect tiled floors and butterflies flew and vanished around her. Anna May let go of Tracy’s arm and Tracy stabbed her.

Anna May gasped as the room rushed forward and soon her vision cleared, the mist, flowers, and butterflies were gone. Her head hurt immensely and Anna May lifted a hand up to her forehead.

“What the hell were you thinking!?” Tracy yelled at her. Whitehorse had gotten up and walked over to Virgil, speaking in hushed voices. Anna May watched him go until the effort of looking too far away forced her to close her eyes. Damn her head hurts.

“What happened?” She asked wearily. Sharky had knelt beside her.

“Found ya walking into Faith’s bunker,” he said, “You were walking all funny, being zombie-like. Faith musta gotten you with the Bliss, didn’t she?” 

Anna May stared at him blankly, then groaned, raising her hands to her head, covering her face.

“We got Burke, didn’t we? Is he here too, I saw him-“ Anna May made an effort to get up but Sharky pushed her back down. She fell with no resistance, finding the effort to push herself fully upright just too tiring. Whitehorse had noticed this and left Virgil, making his way back over to her side until he was beside Sharky, towering over both of them.

“We tried to grab the marshal,” he said, “We were close, but we didn’t get him.”

“We got you back, though. That’s good,” Sharky opened his hands out to Sheriff Whitehorse and then Tracy, but a look from her made him lower his hands and look away.

“What were you thinking, Rook?” Whitehorse asked Anna May. She opened her mouth, prepared to tell Whitehorse what she saw, but then-

“She got me, when I was making my way back to the prison,” Anna May lied, “Blissed me or something. I saw some- stuff- but I don’t really remember what happened…”

Anna May went silent. A part of her was screaming, telling her to tell them what she was really doing, but she can’t. It’s bad enough Mary May thinks she is considering joining the cult just because she had that book, she didn’t need the others to know that she willingly went with Faith, much less talked to Joseph Seed. They wouldn’t understand.

“Happens to the best of us,” Sharky gave Anna May an apologetic look. Tracy stood up and shook her head, and walked out. Virgil watched her go and gave a sigh.

“Just get some rest, Rook. You got out of the Bliss too fast, you’ll need to sleep the rest of it off,” Sheriff Whitehorse said, and stood up. Virgil left with him, Sharky waited until they went before he spoke.

“They’re pretty upset,” he said, “A bunch of the Cougars went into that bunker to get you out.”

“Wait, what!?” Anna May sat up, then fell back down, groaning as her head began to spin.

“Yeah, but only a couple of people didn’t get back out,” Sharky said.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Anna May sighed, “And we didn’t get Burke.”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up. We got you out, and that's good enough for me, forget about the cop,” Sharky said.

“Sharky I am a cop.”

“You’re the only cop that matters. ‘Cept maybe the sheriff, I guess,” Sharky scratched the back of his head, avoiding Anna May’s eyes when she threw him a glare.

Anna May closed her eyes, lifting her hands back up to cover her face again. The world was slowing down, the dizziness leaving her as the Bliss faded away, but it was still so hard to focus. She had to concentrate.

Joseph said she was the reason why John was acting like how he was, but she still doesn’t know why. She still doesn’t know what she did before their falling out to make him hate her, but there is one thing she knows now; Joseph Seed is not going give up, and if Anna May was reading in between the lines correctly, then he was also willing to sacrifice his siblings lives for his vision, but why now?

These questions ran through Anna May’s head as the sounds of Sharky talking slowly lulled her into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I ended up rewritting two whole chapters of this and it took me a while to finish them! Hopefully I can update this sooner next time!


	5. Chapter 5

_“I love you brother. I love you,”_ Joseph’s message ended with a click and the dining room was silent. Anna May was still looking at the phone, half waiting for more to come out from it. Peaches was at Anna May’s feet, yawning and cleaning her paws, giving the Deputy the occasional stare, as if the cougar was waiting for her to do something too.

Grace was standing nearby, the two of them were in the room when the phone rang and Joseph’s message played. Grace gave the phone a look then one to Anna May.

“Looks like someone didn’t tell his brother that he was evicted,” Grace commented.

“Yeah. Funny,” Anna May replied. Joseph’s message left a horrible feeling in her gut, making her feel sick, and she knew exactly why.

It has been some time since her conversation with Joseph Seed and she had since been quiet, in the peggies terms at least. Virgil suggested that she may just react worse to Bliss than most people, but his theories didn’t provide any relief to the persistent migraine she had for the next few days. Anna May had decided to take it easy, using her mini vacation to ponder about all of the things Joseph had said.

Like his brother, Joseph was very insistent on trying to get her to switch sides and join them in their holy war against, well, the world. Anna May should have figured as much, but she didn’t expect to get as much about John out of him as she had thought she was going to, nor find out that her nagging theory was true, that whatever is going on with John is Joseph’s fault. That leaves for her to wonder now what exactly did he say to John for him to be so upset with her.

John was still as quiet as before, just as the rest of Holland Valley. Outside of the cults and Resistance’s usual patrols, no one has made any moves against each other, tension was rising as both sides waited for someone to do something but no one has come forward. Anna May assumes that, at this point, everything will blow up when she or John make a move. It’s only a matter of who will make it first.

But not without some warning from Joseph. This phone call was strange, out of the ordinary from the notes and other things Anna May has found about the two brothers across the valley. It was a plea of caution, Joseph was encouraging his brother to cast aside his past, though how much help this message would have given John if it did reach him. Anna May could understand John’s anger towards his parents almost as if it was her own, you can’t just tell someone to not be angry, but there was some surprising truth in Joseph’s words that she loathes to agree with; the violence John is committing now is not helping anybody.

The part that scared her most, however, was not Joseph’s warning, but rather, what he said afterwards. John’s death. Joseph said he saw John die. Anna May doesn't think Joseph speaks to God, whatever has happened since the arrest, she still can’t think Joseph is right, but the conviction in his voice when he talked about John’s death chilled her more than any of her previous meetings with him.

“Well, too bad for John Seed,” Grace said, and she reached over and deleted the message. Anna May grimaced.

“Don’t you think it’s weird that Joseph called him to tell him to stop what he’s doing,” Anna May asked Grace.

“I want to say maybe Joseph Seed is having a change of heart, but that would only make me feel too hopeful,” Grace said.

“I guess,” Anna May stood up from her spot, “I think I’m going to call Nick and head out, see what else we could get done around here.”

“I’d be extra careful out there. Cults have been extra strange lately. I’m feeling something about to go off.”

“Yeah, I’ve been feeling it too,” Anna May admitted, “Ever since I left that silo, things have been tenser than usual.”

“It might mean we’re close then,” Grace pointed out.

“I hope so,” Anna May said. Peaches had stood up from her spot on the floor, walking over to where Anna May was standing and pressed her head against her hand, giving a loud purr when Anna May petted the Cougar. 

“I’ll watch the cat if you want to leave that here,” Grace said. Anna May shrugged.

“Peaches is free to go wherever she wants. I don’t own her,” Anna May smiled down at the cat. It kind of reminded her of another big animal she knew once, a grizzly bear named Cheeseburger who sometimes would let Anna May pet him during her time as security for the FANG Center, so long as she provided him with food too.

Anna May left Peaches and Grace, heading out the door to the courtyard of the ranch, leisurely walking down the well kept cobblestone path towards the hanger next to the building. Anna May took a deep breath, enjoying the quiet afternoon, the air already cooling down as early fall made its way to Hope County.

She stepped inside the hanger, finding it quicker to get to the otherside of the building that way than by walking around it, a good thing too, the hanger’s large doors were open, a couple of Resistance members were staring up at the magnificent plane John had stowed inside along with another, smaller one.

Affirmation stood half in the hanger, half pulled out. The plane was simple as the rest of the cults vehicles; black with the Eden’s Gate cross painted on it with white, but this wasn’t just a regular Chosen’s plane, this was John Seed’s own personal one. John had taken her on a ride inside it before, flying over Hope County as he introduced the mountains surrounding them. He didn’t try to take her on another joy ride in the air again after that, but she has spent enough time with the Baptist, helping him work on this plane, that she knows it just as well as she knew the ranch it was stored away at.

“Hey, Dep, me and the others were thinking of doing some painting on this? How many laps around that shit church of the cults do you think we can get if we were flying around on a plane that says ‘Joseph Seed sucks’ on the side?” One of the men asked. Anna May shook her head.

“Five, maybe, unless you come up with a more creative slogan,” Anna May said. The man frowned.

“Maybe,” he said, and looked back up at the plane, thinking hard. Anna May walked past him, rolling her eyes. She can’t wait to see John’s reaction when he sees whatever they plan on doing to his plane. He loves that thing probably as much as he loves his whole Yes propaganda.

Anna May’s borrowed car was at the edge of the hanger, out of the way from everyone. Anna May got inside and gave a frown at the steering wheel. She misses Cynthia and would rather be driving the Corolla around, not this thing she found abandoned on the side of the road with the word ‘sinner’ painted on it. Guess it fits with what the cult has going for her.

Anna May pulled out her radio, humming as she took the mouthpiece and raised it up.

“Nick?” Anna May began, then stopped, squinting in the woods. She saw it, just for a moment, but she swore she saw a face-?

“Hey, Dep. Need me to meet up with you?” Nick asked. Anna May gave a start.

“Ye-yeah. Sorry.”

“Are you alright? You sound spooked.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, sorry. I thought I saw something just now,” Anna May scanned the forest line but everything was still.

“It’s not a peggie, is it?” Nick asked.

“I don’t think so. It’s gone now. It might have been an animal or something.”

“Ok, well, just be careful, partner. What do you have planned to do today?”

“Hmm,” Anna May pulled out her map and looked at a couple of areas she had circled in the Holland Valley part of the map, “We could check a few stashes that I marked down and load up on supplies. I want to get a hold of more ammo and Pastor Jerome told me of a family that needed some aid, I figure I could stop by and drop off a few things.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Nick replied. Anna May went back to staring at the woods, surveying the tree line for any other sign of what she saw earlier, but the trees were still.

“Hey, Nick, can you do me a favor and keep an eye on me? I think I’m getting too jumpy, but I swear I saw someone watching me.”

“Will do. Just get away from there as soon as you can, you never know, it could have just been an animal.”

“That's what I’m hoping,” Anna May replied, putting down the radio and sticking the car keys into the ignition. She started the car up and began to drive away. She left the air field just before a figure stepped out from behind a tree.

——————

Although most of the Resistance was congested around the regions main bases- Falls End for Holland Valley and Hope County Prison for the Henbane River- there were many pockets of small resistance groups scattered about the county. Most people took refuge in newly taken outposts, taking advantage of what the cult left behind in order to protect themselves, but there were still some groups who tried to keep an even lower profile.

The man at the grain mill was happy to share what he had with the Deputy, provided she was able to climb through the wasp infested structure first. Anna May thought there weren't that many things she was scared of, but after the treacherous climb, she started considering adding stinging insects to the list.

But she made it through and now, with Nick's help, she had finished loading up her car with what the sniper had given her. Anna May slammed the door shut and looked around at the woods surrounding the small farm.

“I haven't had a good look around this place the last time I was here,” she said to Nick, “I should have thanked that man for helping me out with the Widowmaker too.”

“You started appreciating having an aerial view once you realize you can’t pick everything up on the ground,” Nick said. Anna May nodded.

“Speaking of aerial view,” Anna May said, “How are we?”

“With your stalker? Haven't seen them,” Nick said.

“I just don’t want it to be peggies,” Anna May said. Nick shook his head.

“Most of the cults Hunters are in Jacob’s region, you won’t see that many down here,” Nick said.

“I hope so,” Anna May shuddered, “It’s bad enough the cults got planes everywhere, we don’t need the ground to be less safer than it already is.”

“Cheers to that,” Nick looked up at the sky. The sun was starting to head downwards towards the horizon. They had some time before night fell, but it looked like it may be a good time for Anna May to figure out where she will be staying the night.

“I may head home soon, Dep,” Nick said, “I want to check up on Kim and Nick Jr.”

“Still holding out for a son?” Anna May teased.

“It’s going to be a boy!” Nick insisted.

Anna May smirked, “Yeah, go home, dude. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll go drop these off and see if I can stay the night, or just drive back to Falls End and stay at Jerome’s. He’s let me do it in the past.”

“Alright, but don’t be afraid to come over if you want to. Kim and I can set up the couch-“

“It’s fine, Nick, really. I don’t want to be a bother. Besides, if I really am being followed, I’d rather not bring them to Kim and the baby, y’know?”

“Bu- Yeah, I get it,” Nick looked uncomfortable.

“Look, I’ll be fine. You haven't seen anything, so it had to be an animal,” Anna May reassured him, but she herself wasn’t so convinced. The whole ride from John’s place, Anna May had been jumpy, checking her mirror repeatedly to see if there was a familiar white truck following behind her, but the road was empty. It was easier to think that she imagined what she saw than to be watching her back constantly, and that was what Nick was for, before she told him to go home.

“If that's fine with you Dep, yeah I’ll go home. Check on Kim,” Nick said, “Just give me a holler if you need anything, okay?”

“Will do!” Anna May turned to open the car door, settling down inside to turn the car on. She can see Nick behind her, walking away to where he had landed Carmina at. She watched him until he disappeared, then drove off, turning off onto the road and heading away from Falls End.

The family Pastor Jerome told her about was close to the border between the Henbane River and Holland Valley. They lived very isolated from where most of the fighting took place. A smart move too, Anna May thought, with the house’s out of the way location, it was easy for the cult to overlook the place.

There were only three people there, two men and a woman. One of the men was waiting outside, rifle in hand, when Anna May arrived, just as the sun was dipping behind the trees.

“Deputy! It’s great to see you,” the man said as she stepped out of the car.

“Hey, heard you needed some of this?” Anna May said, opening the passenger door to show the ammo she had stacked in the back seat.

“Hell yeah, Marty! Elise! Get out here and help me bring this in the house!” The man turned back to Anna May as the other two people stepped out of the house.

“I have to thank you, really. We were running low,” he said, “We’ve been spending most of our ammo hunting. Figured killing bucks would be easier than trying to steal what the cult has, and we can offer the meat to whoever needs it.”

“Smart,” Anna May said.

“I’m Ted, by the way,” the man reached out a hand to shake Anna May’s, “Listen, we got a spare room upstairs. Stay the night, Elise had just finished making stew when you showed up and we’re planning on playing a game of poker.”

“I’d love that,” Anna May said as her stomach grumbled. She hadn’t eaten all day and she now realized that she was starving, so she followed Ted into the house.

——————

Anna May turned over, again, in bed, trying to find a comfortable spot to sleep on, and gave a huff in frustration. The bed wasn’t bad, it was soft, hardly slept in, with warm covers, but try as she might, Anna May just couldn’t fall asleep.

She thought she might have been tired enough to. The meal was good, and after a few rounds of cards and a beer or two, Anna May thought that was all she needed to get some shut eye. But sleep wasn’t coming to her, if anything, she felt more awake and aware than before she laid down. 

It wasn’t much of a mystery to her for why she was like this. Anna May had managed to push Joseph’s message for John into the back of her mind, but now that she was alone, the message came back, Joseph’s words repeating over and over again in her head.

Anna May gave another sigh and rolled onto her back, raising her hands and covering her eyes. She really wants to forget about the whole thing with Joseph, and with John, but that call had only fanned the dying flames of her curiosity and now she really wants to know what Joseph and John know about her that she apparently doesn’t. What's more, she wants more context to one thing Joseph said.

_I’ve seen you die young, I’ve seen you die old. The only difference between the two outcomes is how much love you let into your heart._

An unexplainable chill went down Anna May’s spine at those words. She sat up, looking around the dark guest room, thinking that maybe what she needed at that moment was to get up, maybe sit outside for a bit, then try to go to bed again, when Anna May heard a slam followed by a yell and a gunshot.

Anna May immediately jumped out of bed, running over to a nearby chair to grab her rifle as more gun shots went off. Anna May ran to the door, gripping the door handle. No time to change out of the sweatpants she was wearing or even throw on some shoes. Peggies were here.

She threw the door open and aimed the gun down the empty hall. She could hear some voices, none of them belonging to anyone she knew. Anna May reached the stairs, trying to look down them, but she still couldn’t see anyone. 

So she climbed down, rifle still raised, hoping that the others were alright. She finally got to the bottom landing and turned, stepping off of it into the living room.

There were a lot of things to take in as Anna May surveyed the scene. Blood splattered the wall in an upwards angle around a room with mostly broken furniture. A tossed lamp was the only thing lighting the room up with a dingy, yellow light, casting an almost sinister look. Four bodies laid on the ground in front of her, one belonging to a dead peggie and the other two belonging to Elise and Marty, both dead as well. However, the fourth was Ted, still alive, now bound and gagged. He looked up at her with wide eyes, trying to scream out for her to run, but Anna May barely took notice of him because what sat in a chair across the room from her was more shocking than anything else in the room.

John smiled at her from the most comfortable chair in the living room as two peggies approached her from both sides of the stairwell, each aiming a gun at her head.

“Hello, Anna May,” John said, “We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too bad this one ends on a cliff hanger, but the next chapter should be really fun : )


	6. Chapter 6

“It’s good to see you again,” John said, “The last time we spoke, we didn’t leave on such very good terms. Forgive me for that, but you must admit, even I have trouble dealing with your stubbornness sometimes. That's something we can work on later, yes?”

“Are you planning on taking me back to your silo, John Seed? Planning on forcing me to “confess?” Anna May asked. This was bad, so so bad. She should have been more careful, called Nick or someone, hell anything! She didn’t expect John Seed of all people to waltz right in, what was she thinking?

John gave a frown, almost looking hurt.

“I had simply wished to have a civilized discussion with you, like friends do. Now, I need you to tell me if there is anyone else in this house. This is going to be a private conversation between friends, after all, and I would hate for someone to rudely interrupt us.”

Anna May would have loved to have said what kind of a shitty friend he was, but one of the peggies nudged her in the head with the barrel of his gun, as if to warn her of what would happen if she spoke her thought out loud. So instead, she glared at him.

“It was just the four of us,” Anna May replied, her heart hurting as she looked down at the two bodies at her feet. John gave a frown.

“You better not be lying,” he said as one of the peggies broke away, shoving past Anna May up the stairs, “I would hate to have more blood on my hands because of you.”

“I am not,” she said. A minute later, the peggie came back, shaking his head at John as he took his position again next to Anna May. John smiled again and lifted a hand towards a nearby chair.

“Will you sit down for me?” He asked.

“No, I’d prefer to stand,” Anna May responded, terse.

“That wasn’t a request,” John continued to stare up at her and, with a sigh, Anna May obliged, stepping over the scared man on the ground to sit on a chair near John. He gave a nod to the other peggies, who had not moved from their spot, their guns still aimed at Anna May.

“Thank you, but I would like to speak to the Deputy alone. Why don’t you take our brother outside?”

One of the peggies nodded and stepped up to Ted who began to scream as he was grabbed and dragged out the door. Anna May watched him go.

“I am so sorry you had to see that, Anna May,” John said.

“No you’re not,” Anna May replied. She looked down at the rifle in her hands. She could kill John, get his key, and save Hudson right now.

John must have noticed this and he gave a deep sigh.

“Really, Anna May, are you already so engrossed by your sin that you’re thinking of killing me? Your best friend?”

“You haven't done a good job at acting like one for the last few years,” Anna May said.

“And what is there stopping us from fixing that relationship, other than your confession and atonement,” John said. Anna May huffed.

“So is this just you trying to sweet talk me into joining Eden’s Gate then? Trying to get back to being buddy-buddy with me? Using nostalgia against me to talk me into submission? I’m not some plaything you can mold into whatever you want.”

“I never said you were,” John said.

“Then tell me why you went so out of your way to- how did you even know I was here?”

John smirked.

“Right down to business? Very well. Yes, we tracked you down once one of my men saw you return to my valley. You have Nick Rye flying around above you like a vulture, leading us right to you. We saw you take some of the supplies that would have better suited our family from another sinner and followed you here. It was a shame, really, that things had to end like this,” John looked down at the three bodies around him and shook his head.

“All they had to do was lay down their weapons but that woman shot and killed one of my men. Her friend died with her and, well, now our new brother will have to atone for her crimes along with his own. This is what happens when we let wrath run amok. It destroys and consumes, and leaves nothing but death at its wake. This is the lesson I have been trying to teach you this whole time, don’t you see?”

“Yet you’re alive and most of them are not,” Anna May said, “They were good people, John.”

“You have a funny idea of good and bad,” John replied, “I didn’t want to kill them, but they left us with no choice. We don’t start all of our fights with bullets.”

“You’ve given everyone a good reason to think so,” Anna May said. John pressed his lips together.

“Still so stubborn,” he commented and sighed.

“Well,” he said, clapping his hands together, causing Anna May to jump in her seat, “I guess I should tell you the real reason why I showed up here.”

“So you could give me a wrath tattoo?” Anna May asked. John smiled.

“No, not yet, as much as I would love to,” he said. He leaned closer to her.

“I want to know why you went behind my back to talk about me to the Father,” he said. Anna May blinked. She never had actually asked Joseph or Faith to keep their conversation a secret, but she didn’t think he would have been straightforward with John about what they talked about, assuming Joseph told him everything. If that's the case, why would Joseph have left that message to John at the ranch? Unless he knew John was planning on hunting her down.

“I wanted to know why he threatened you back at the baptism,” she answered, “I read his book. He doesn’t say a lot of nice things about you in it. I figured you weren't going to tell me anything, so I went to Joseph myself, or well, I ran into Faith and she took me to Joseph, so really, I was forced to ask him.”

“Why?” He asked. His hands were clutching the arm rests of the chair he was in, staring right at Anna May. She hesitated.

“Is Joseph hurting you, John?” She asked him seriously. He stared at her for a long time, then laughed, a loud laughter that made her stomach sink. John wiped his eyes.

“Of course you would think that, Anna May,” he said, “You have always been so naive, so easily swayed. You have become so enthralled in your self proclaimed role as a hero, you still don’t even realize how far you have truly fallen. It has become so easy for you to assume that Joseph is hurting me when you are the one hurting people.”

Anna May opened her mouth to respond back, then stopped. She could have easily argued back and forth with John all day about the morality of both of their actions, but what was the point? She wasn’t going to get through to him by doing that. She had to think.

John continued to smile at her.

“You know I’m right, don’t you? Are you starting to see and understand why I need you to atone? I won’t pretend that the process is not something to be taken lightly, it is scary to open up yourself, but the pain is necessary. Removing the deepest and darkest parts of yourself and exposing your sin, that is the kind of courage you need to be able to march through the Gates of Eden and into the Paradise the Father has seen. You have told me about your life in Missoula and all of the pain you suffered at the hands of your parents. You had made excuses for them and allowed yourself to let your wrath hold you back from the light of God. Are you starting to understand? Your past is an anchor, dragging you deeper and deeper into an ocean you keep trying to pull yourself out of. Let go and join us.”

“I think you’re talking more about yourself than me, John,” Anna May said. John looked confused.

“What are you talking about?” He asked. 

“Your brother left you a message at your ranch,” Anna May explained, “He said that you need to stop doing something about cutting people too deep, how they’ll carry your sin, because you won’t let go of your past.”

“And what about it, Anna May?” John asked. His eyes practically were piercing through her, but she stayed staring straight at them.

“How can you tell me to let go of my sin and equate it to my past when you’re doing the exact thing your parents did to you, but justifying it as a necessary thing that you have to do in order to survive the apocalypse? If anything, that just makes you a hypocrite.” Anna May replied. They stared at each for a long time afterwards, the house falling into an uncomfortable silence, so quiet that the conversation the two peggies outside were having was able to carry on inside.

“That is very bold of you, Deputy, to say that, and very telling of you,” John hissed. Anna May frowned.

“I had never wanted to be your enemy, John,” Anna May replied.

“And yet you give me this kind of provocation?” 

“More like I’m trying to get you to understand that what you’re doing is wrong!” Anna May insisted, “John, Joseph said he saw you die!” John gave a short sharp laugh.

“I thought you didn’t believe in the Father’s Word?” He asked. Anna May shook her head.

“I don’t know your brother or his Word well enough,” Anna May admitted, “But I’ve seen him be confident in this situation in a way that no normal person would be, unless he knows something is going to happen, and now I’m starting to think that he has accepted that you’re to die.”

“Liar,” John said.

“Why would I lie about this to you John?” 

“Because of the kind of person you are,” he said, “The kind of sinner who refuses to admit that she’s wrong, who hides behind the backs of better people than her, and the kind who is willing to lie and kill for whatever she wants. That's the kind of person you are.”

“Do you really believe that,” Anna May asked. John scoffed, leaning back into his seat, hands gripping the armrest of his chair. He studied her for a moment, then shook his head. 

“Fine. I’ve tried to be reasonable, to be patient, but you only focus on yourself and what you want. You play these games with people, to distract them from what really matters until it’s too late. I’ve let myself be fooled by you once before and I do not intend to let that happen again.”

“How have I ever distracted you?” Anna May asked indignantly, but John wasn’t even looking at her anymore. He was still leaning back in his chair, hands now clasped on his lap, looking out the window across from him. It was pitch black outside, not even the peggies were visible. The lamp on the floor casted a sinister glow on John’s face as he stared.

“It’s not important, I see now that this discussion was not the best method to deal with you,” John pulled a face, “And if that's the case, then I will have to take a different approach.”

“So what are you going to do? Call your grunts back in here and have them drag me outside like you did with Ted? Force me to ‘confess’ to whatever I did to you?” Anna May gripped the rifle on her lap and John gave her a disgusted look.

“No, I am not. Unlike you and the rest of the sinners that you call your friends, I don’t always go to a bullet to solve my problems. I told you that I only came to you to talk, as a last ditch effort to get you to see your wrongdoings, but it clearly is not working.”

“What did I do to you to make you so angry? Is this about Eden’s Gate-“

“Not everything has to do with Eden’s Gate!” John snapped, shooting forward in his chair to glare at her. Anna May was taken aback.

“I don’t understand,” she said. John gave a huff.

“And at this point I don’t expect you ever will,” he replied. John stood up and began to walk around the room, taking his time staring at the blood splattered walls and the bodies on the ground before he stopped by the door. He turned around back to Anna May.

“Don’t you even realize what your actions are doing to the people you care about,” he asked. Anna May shrugged.

“I stopped Faith from turning a prison full of people into angels and from you chartering a whole town into your basement, so yeah, it’s been great.”

John shook his head at her, an almost mournful look on his face.

“I’m not referring to your worshippers, I’m talking about your other friends. Deputy Pratt. The Marshal. Deputy Hudson,” At her name John smirked. Anna May’s grip on the rifle grew tighter and she was tempted to raise it at him. John gave another sigh.

“Deputy Hudson,” He repeated, “How she will feel when she finds out you are the reason why her atonement has been as drawn out as it has been. She’s a strong woman, but even she has a breaking point, and your actions are not making anything easier for her.”

“John?” Anna May said. The room had suddenly grown cold as John started to smile at her, a twisted smile that didn’t look human to Anna May. 

“You don’t want to listen. I have tried reason and empathy, but the only language you understand is violence. Lucky for you, I can speak it just as well,” John continued, “For every slight and injustice you and your Resistance give to me and my family, I will unleash it a hundredfold onto that dear princess of yours. Her atonement will only be lengthened by your lack of cooperation and, Wrath, I don’t know how much longer she can last.”

“John don’t,” Anna May said, and she stood up, lifting up her rifle at him, just for even daring to threaten Hudson in front of her. John stood still, that grin still on his face.

“What are you going to do, kill me? I would love to see you do it, I really would. I want you to live with the guilt of your actions, I want you to drown in it. All of that sin, all of that shame; I want you to be so consumed by your wrath, that when you lose everything, it will only make it so much sweeter to know that Joseph really was right about you this whole time.”

“What would Joseph be right about,” Anna May asked John quietly, but John was walking backwards to the door. He reached it and turned to grab the door handle.

“Consider this my final warning,” he said, “Next time we meet, pray it’s because you finally decided to atone.”

Anna May didn’t reply and John opened the door, leaving the building. She could hear him say something to the peggies outside and the slamming of car doors. They drove away, and Anna May was left alone in the dark house.

———————

“I don’t know what else to do, Dutch. John’s lost it and he’s now threatening to hurt Hudson and-“ Anna May swallowed- “You don’t know what it’s like down in his silo.”

Dutch gave a nod. They were sitting in the kitchen of his bunker. The moment John had driven off, Anna May had changed and left the house, finding her keys and car, and began to get away from the building as fast as she could. She will have to call Pastor Jerome and let him know what happened in the morning, someone has to bury Elise and Marty, but she couldn’t stay there, not after what had happened.

She didn’t know where she was going to go, so it became a surprise to her when she found herself turning onto Dutch’s Island. In what seemed like a second later, she was in the bunker, spilling out everything that had happened since the silo; taking the book, her radio call with John, Going with Faith to meet Joseph, her meeting with John. He listened to it all, and now Anna May was waiting for his reply.

“Shits fucked, kid,” Dutch finally said.

“I don’t need to hear that right now,” Anna May gave Dutch a disgusted look. He shrugged.

“I don’t know what else to tell you. That everything is going to be fine?” Dutch asked, “Jesus Christ, I thought you were smarter than that.”

“I know it’s not like that, but I don’t know what to do. Dutch, he’s going to kill Hudson,” Anna May said. Dutch gave a sigh.

“You have to keep your head up, get John’s attention and drag him out. The man has got the temper of a bull, get him to snap and he’ll come running to you.”

“Unless he takes his anger out on Hudson first,” Anna May said bitterly. Dutch gave her a sympathetic look and stood up, walking around the table and recliner towards the fishtank. He looked down at it for a while then shook his head before facing the Deputy again.

“You’re not going to get through to him, if you’re still thinking of talking him down” he said. Anna May grimaced.

“I know,” she said. She had her hands laying on the table in front of them and she clenched them. She sighed.

“I should have tried harder talking to him, after the arrest. Maybe I could have gotten him to see reason then,” Anna May said, “But I was just so angry with him and his family. I-“

Anna May looked up at Dutch, who had stood there silently and watched her.

“Maybe he’s right about me,” she said. Dutch raised an eyebrow at her.

“He said my… my sin is wrath,” she explained, “That I chose to be angry and hurt others and- and maybe he’s right. Every time we’ve talked since this all started, it ended in an argument. Maybe I’m part of the problem.”

“Kid I don’t want to burst your bubble, but your ‘friend’ and his family have been kidnapping, torturing, and killing people, I think getting a little angry at a considerable douchebag isn’t as horrible as you want to think it is,” Dutch left the fish tank to stand closer to Anna May. 

“I know that,” she said.

“So sitting on your ass and wishing things could be solved with just words isn’t going to get anything done!” Dutch said. Anna May stared at him and he continued.

“John Seed was never your friend. He was using you for the cult. That's how that whole family works and now that they know you’re one of the few people in this county who were smart enough to stop being involved with that family, they’re going to want to punish you for your disobedience.”

Anna May winced and looked away from Dutch, her heart sinking. Then she gave him a glare.

“I don’t believe that,” she said.

“Rook, are you fucking-“

“I don’t believe all of that,“ Anna May quickly corrected herself, “I know the Seeds use people and it’s horrible and unforgivable, but I don't think John only wanted me to join the cult. Before all of this, he didn’t care that I did not want to join Eden’s Gate. He was my friend, he helped me through so much, and if there's something happening that Joseph doesn’t want me to know about, then I want to help him too.”

“Even if it means betraying the Resistance and what we fought for these last few weeks?” Dutch asked. 

“If it means less people will die because of it,” Anna May said. Dutch stared at her for a long time, then gave a huff.

“Those kinds of dreams are going to get you murdered,” Dutch said. Anna May shrugged and he laughed.

“I’m not stooping to their level. If I’m going to kill John I want it to be because I didn’t have any other option left,” Anna May said, “It’s stupid and it probably wouldn’t work, but I don’t care anymore. I want to know what is going on and I’m not going to find that out from a corpse.”

“And say he does miraculously stand down, are you going to cart him off to jail, because that's where he and everyone else in that cult and family of his are heading,” Dutch pointed out. Anna May pressed her lips together.

“We’ll cross that line when we get there,” she finally said. Dutch shook his head. 

“I don’t understand you, kid,” he said, “If you want to waste your time with the Seeds, then fine. Go ahead and do what you want, but talking isn’t going to get rid of the fact that you still have a cult attacking people and that the police department is in shambles. What is your plan?”

Anna May tapped her hand on the table.

“I’m going to go back to the Henbane and meet up with the Cougars,” Anna May said, “Faith has Burke, I’ll let John cool off and I’ll deal with getting the Marshal back instead. I have a feeling he doesn’t care that much if she fails or not.”

“Solid idea,” Dutch said sarcastically. He gave her an odd look.

“You’re a weird kid,” he said, again, “Pray that kind heart of yours doesn’t get yourself killed.”

Anna May gave a small smile, then a frown.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said, and stood up, turning to walk away from Dutch and out of his bunker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for that long cliffhanger, I wanted to make sure this chapter and some future chapters were all good to go before I posted the next part of this : D I got some good stuff planned, so stay tuned!


	7. Chapter 7

The last peggie fell off of the mills landing, falling into the river with a spectacular splash. Anna May breathed a sigh of relief, rushing over to the landing’s edge to look down at the water and ledge below, checking for any signs of any still living peggies, but all was still.

Sharky and the survivors were making their way up the mill to her. Anna May turned to face them as Sharky finally made it, huffing from the effort of running and climbing to where she was at. 

The Misery was where Faith was having their missing people taken, before being forced to walk her pilgrimage or, even worse, turned into angels. Whitehorse was waiting for her when she showed up at the prison, giving her the details they had about the mill, as well as the plan. Faith priestesses took care of the dirty work the youngest Seed sibling didn’t want to do, and lucky for them, one of the last priestesses who Adelaide didn’t take down when rescuing Tulip was going to show up, the perfect opportunity for an ambush, so long as they took the Misery before then.

With the first part of the plan out of the way, Anna May and Sharky were ready to initiate part two. 

“I borrowed this from my cousin,” Sharky said, lifting up a rocket launcher. It wasn’t much different from the ones the cult used; a plain black and silver thing that held a very impressive missile.

“You have got to introduce me to Hurk sometime. How does he have so many explosives?” Anna May asked. Sharky smiled.

“Hurks got some crazy stories. He’s been everywhere and got into some deep shit across the world. You should hear about the time he went to Kyrat. Crazy stuff,” Sharky said. 

“What do you need us to do, Dep?” One of the survivors, a young woman, interrupted Sharky as they approached them. Anna May gave the river another lookover before turning to her.

“We’re going to ambush one of Faith’s priestess,” she explained, “She is coming in on a boat, so we need to be careful. Sharky is going to destroy her boat, so once he does, gun her and any men she comes with down. We only got one rocket so if he misses, stop her from escaping as much as you can.”

The woman nodded. Another woman behind her had walked over a ladder and started climbing it, reaching the landing just above them. As Anna May was talking, she pointed out over the horizon.

“I see a boat, just around the bend!” She yelled, “It’s coming this way!”

“Hide!” Anna May yelled, and she and Sharky ran into the mill, hiding behind a wall and waiting for the priestesses arrival.

“Why don’t we just blow up the boat with her in it? Two birds with one explosive,” Sharky held up two fingers.

“Can you guarantee you can hit a moving boat from here with that thing,” Anna May asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Probably,” Sharky said confidently. 

“Sorry, it may be too late,” Anna May said as the air soon began to fill with the noise of an engine. Anna May gave Sharky a nod.

“You know what to do,” Anna May whispered and snuck past Sharky, making her way downstairs. She couldn’t see any of the other survivors and hoped that they’re in good hiding spots. The last thing she wanted was for the people she just saved to be captured again.

There were voices outside as Anna May approached. She hid behind a doorway and looked outside.

Three peggies and the priestess were there, talking among themselves as they started to unload the boat. Anna May recognized the small, bright green barrels of Bliss two of the peggies were carrying. The third was still in the boat's driver seat, chatting with the priestess, who was now on the shore. Anna May took a deep breath and stepped outside.

“Hey!” One of the peggies immediately yelled. All of them immediately raised their weapons in her direction, Anna May mirroring their movement until they were all aiming guns at each other.

“Well well well, the Deputy. I had thought after your meeting with the Father you may have had second thoughts on fighting us,” the priestess said, “Unless you are here to seek salvation and let Faith guide you?”

“No,” Anna May took a step away from them, the priestess took two more, two of the peggies following suit.

“That is a shame,” the priestess said earnestly, as she approached her, “But it’s okay. Faith has a way of taking away all of the fear that still consumes you. We’ll help you find the bliss you’re looking for.”

“No thank you,” Anna May replied cheerfully. A rocket came flying down from the ledge above them. Sharky tilted his hat at Anna May, giving a wink as the boat exploded behind the peggies, knocking most of them, including the priestess, to the ground and killing the one that was inside the boat. The priestess looked up at Anna May and rolled away as she shot at her, scrambling to her feet and raising her own gun.

“Really fucking nice, Deputy, playing dirty like that!” She yelled. The other peggies got up and Anna May hid back inside the mill as they began to shoot at her.

“Get your friends to come back out here and finish what you started, girlie!” One of the peggies yelled. Sharky was making his way down the stairs, shotgun in hand. He adjusted his hat, giving Anna May an awed look.

“That was easy,” he said, lifting his weapon up and aiming at the mill entrance as a peggie showed up. He shot him then made his way downstairs, leading the way outside. 

The priestess and second peggie were already dead when they stepped out. Above them, on one of the landings, two of the survivors were looking over the edge, relief appearing on their faces as they saw Anna May and Sharky come out from inside the building.

“We got them, Dep,” one of them said, spitting off the ledge. Anna May wrinkled her nose, thankful she is nowhere near where he was at.

“I appreciate the help, but you didn’t have to do that,” Anna May said.

“There was no way in hell we were sitting out for this, not after all the shit the cults been doing here,” the woman who spoke looked over at the cages hanging over the river where multiple, drowned bodies laid. Anna May gave a nod.

“Well, we’re going to need more people to watch this place, make sure the peggies don't get it back,” Anna May said, “I can radio the sheriff and see if he can send anymore Cougars over.”

The woman looked at the man next to her, who grimaced and said, “Yeah, we can do that. See if we can get a lot of backup. I don’t want to be trapped here again.”

“You won’t as long as I’m breathing,” Anna May said. The man, now looking relieved, left the ledge and was out of sight, the woman following after him. 

Anna May headed over to the still burning ruins of the boat, looking up at the growing flames as she pulled out her radio 

“Misery is cleared,” Anna May said. She could hear a sigh from Whitehorse.

“Good job, Rook,” he said, “I’ll send some people over right now. Can you keep a hold on the place until they get there?”

“Sure,” Anna May replied.

“Good. Keep me posted if anything changes,” and the radio was off. Anna May closed her eyes and stretched.

“I can sleep forever,” Anna May announced. 

“You barely kicked any peggie butt today,” Sharky said.

“We just blew up a boat, speaking of, shouldn’t we make sure that it doesn’t set the whole mill on fire?” Anna May gestured towards the wreckage. Sharky studied it briefly then shook his head.

“We’re good, chica,” he said, “The winds blowing it towards the river, and it won’t be burning much longer anyway.”

“Why’s that?” 

“It’s still in the water,” Sharky grinned, and almost as if commanded, the boat fell apart, unable to hold itself together, and the large metal pieces sputtered out as they sunk into the Henbane. In a few seconds, all that remained were half sunken, still on fire, charred pieces of metal, but the large flames from moments ago were now out. Sharky raised his hands out in a big gesture.

“See? I know fire like the back of my hand,” he said, “I’m good at burning shit.”

”Good job,” Anna May gave a nod at the wreckage, then turned to ask Sharky what they should do to keep the peggies out, but she was left mouth agape, mid question. 

Faith was standing in the distance down the road towards the distant, thicker, woods. When Faith usually appears to her, she’s dancing and singing, speaking about the Father and all the cult shit Anna May has heard from her thousands of times before. This time was different. Instead of dancing, she was still, almost glaring at Anna May from her position. When she saw that she had noticed her, Faith slowly turned around, keeping her eyes on Anna May as long as she could until she had her back to her, then she began to walk to the woods, not looking back at the Deputy anymore.

Anna May knew when these apparitions of Faith appeared, they were just that, just mirages that were used to gaslight her into joining Eden’s Gate. This one was different, too aware, too animated. She knew, deep in her soul, that this Faith was the real deal. 

And Sharky could see her too.

“Hey- Dep she’s fake!” He yelled as Anna May began to sprint, racing up the road to where Faith was disappearing into the woods. Faith gave her one last look as she disappeared into the forest, the Deputy hot on her tail. 

Anna May reached the trees and started to run through the brush, hoping over bushes and pushing aside branches as she tried to keep up with Faith. Faith was taking her time, going through the easiest paths around anything that got in her way, but still somehow too quickly for the Deputy to reach her.

The scenery around her began to change too, Anna May noticed as she ran. Small, growing clouds of the bright green Bliss was appearing around her, hovering over the leaves. The brush began to thin out until it was much easier to run through the trees. The woods became darker, despite it being in the middle of the day. And it was quiet, an unnatural quiet that unnerved Anna May. 

After a while of running like this, Anna May slowed her pace down and walked, looking around the strange, Bliss filled woods behind her. She couldn’t hear anyone, not Sharky, if he had ran after her, or Faith. The trees began to clear out more and soon the quiet was broken by the sound of rushing water.

“Don’t you even care about what the others want?” Faith’s voice broke the near silence and Anna May turned to see her right behind her. Before she could react, Faith shoved her, flinging the Deputy across the woods with much more strength than the tiny woman should have. Anna May had to struggle to keep her balance as she felt a hand grab her wrist and forcefully turn her around. She was facing Faith again.

“The people who are here are here because they want to be!” Faith said, “That place, my priestess, they were there to help people and stop them from being scared! Your friends have let fear control them and now they’re trying to convince you to let your fear control you!”

“I’m not scared,” Anna May said, yanking her arm out of Faith’s grasp. Her current trip to the Bliss was different from her last one. Before, the Bliss made her feel sick and heavy. Although the headache was there, The dizziness was less, her mind clearer. Anna May was able to stand and move without feeling like she was going to pass out.

“That mill wasn’t doing much good unless that ‘help’ you were offering was the whole drowning portion,” Anna May said, disgusted, “You’re just as bad as John.”

Faith looked frustrated and quickly reached out to grab Anna May’s hand. At first, she thought Faith was going to throw her again, but was surprised when she began to gently lead her towards the river, Anna May’s legs moving as if against her own will.

“It is a shame you don’t trust me as much as I trust you,” Faith said, “But maybe, if you listen to an old friend, then you’ll see,” and soon they had reached the river. A white rowboat was there and inside was Cameron Burke.

“Burke?” Anna May said, surprised to see the marshal of all people there. Faith let go of her hand and she was in control of her legs again, approaching Burke, who stood up to greet her.

“Rook,” he said, giving Anna May a warm smile and gestured at her to come to him, “It’s okay, come here.”

“I got to get you out of here,” Anna May said. Burke made no reply. He instead reached up a hand towards Anna May. She grabbed it and he led her onto the boat and sat down. She sat across from him.

“Are you listening to me?” Anna May asked. Burke continued to smile, ignoring her question as he placed a pair of paddles in the water and pushed the boat away from the shore, leaving Faith behind as they sailed down the river.

“She knows you chased her to find me,” Burke finally said, “And that you want to get me to leave this place.”

“Then let's go,” Anna May said. He shook his head.

“I don’t want to go back,” Burke said, “I’m happy here.”

“She’s fooling, or- or controlling you! Take a look around, none of this is real!” Anna May gestured at the shoreline. There were animals drinking from the water; elks, bears, jackalopes, and other beasts, all in peace as they took their fill of the toxic water. Burke gave them a dreamy look.

“Do you know what it is like, out there?” Burke asked.

“In the Bliss?”

“No, Rook, out there. In the ‘real’ world,” Burke said, “Have you ever stopped and wondered if where you are, right now, is the only place that you’ll ever be? We grow up told that we could be whatever we wanted, but that is not true, Rook. That is a lie. Out there, all we are-are- are tools that are used by the real people in charge. We take care of _their_ problems, and we’re the ones left behind in the aftermath. Do you know what that is like, having someone control every aspect of your life, thinking that there's no way out of the cage you’re in?”

“Very well,” Anna May replied, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. This conversation was going in a direction that hits too close to home.

“But there is a way out, Rook,” Burke let go of the paddles and leaned back, taking a deep breath. There were a couple of butterflies sitting on him when Anna May first saw him, but as he was talking, more flew by to land on him. They sat there, not moving, tempting Anna May to brush them off of him, but before she could act on it, Burke began to row again, scaring a couple of the insects off of him.

“I am _tired,_ Rook. I’m tired of doing the other people's dirty work, and I’m tired of playing the bad guy,” Burke said, “Arresting Joseph Seed, we didn’t need to do that. We were wrong to do that. They are peaceful people.”

The boat was almost at the shore at the end of the river.

“Joseph Seed had the peggies attack us, don’t you remember? They crashed our helicopter, they threw our car into a river with us in it.”

“Because we provoked them,” Burke said, “But now they want to help us, Rook, and you are making it hard for them to do so.”

“You’re not thinking straight,” Anna May said, “If we took you out of the Bliss, cleared your head-“

“ _NO!_ ” Burke yelled. Before this point, Burke's voice was calm and happy, but when Anna May suggested that he’d leave, that changed. He looked furious and, for a moment, Anna May thought he was going to lunge at her, but the boat hit the shoreline, and Burke's demeanor went back to the one he had before.

“I’m happy, Rook,” Burke said, “I don’t care if it’s not real, I’m happy, and that is enough for me, so why can’t it be enough for you too?”

Burke had stood up and walked over to the edge of the boat, stepping over the edge and onto the shore. He turned towards Anna May.

“Goodbye, Rook,” he said, and he started to walk away from her.

Anna May scrambled off of the boat, but her body was growing heavier and moving was awkward. The headache was worsening and that sick feeling was coming back. She watched, hopelessly, as Burke walked off, limping away like an angel.

“Go after him, Rook, don’t let him through the gates!” Whitehorse’s voice was now echoing through the woods.

“Sheriff?” Anna May called out, looking at the woods and river around her for him, but he didn’t appear. She shook her head and forced herself to walk, approaching Burke, his own slow shamble not outpacing her.

Anna May reached out an arm towards him. He was so close, she could almost touch him. She quickened her pace-

 _“Leave him alone!_ ” Faith yelled and Anna May obliged, lowering her arm and stopping, then she shook her head. Burke was almost at the big white gate at the end of the field and she knew once he went through, she wouldn’t be able to save him. So she walked, quickening her pace and found herself running, her mind more clear now than it was before. She reached out a hand and grabbed the marshal, falling to the ground, pulling him with her. 

And they were falling. 

And then they were back. Anna May felt the warm mattress under her before she even opened her eyes to look around at the infirmary. There was yelling next to her and she looked over to see Whitehorse and Tracy standing over Burke, trying to get him with the same injection they gave her after in her last trip through the Bliss.

But as Anna May watched, Burke gave a particularly strong shove and threw Whitehorse to the floor. Anna May sat up as he got to his feet. Whitehorse had his gun out and Tracy had her hands up, trying to calm him down.

“No more drugs,” Burke gasped, his own hand raised at the sheriff.

“You can’t just come out of the Bliss clean like that!” Tracy yelled at him.

“I can,” Burke said, “I have it-“

“Marshal-“ Whitehorse began, but Tracy was shaking her head, the syringe at her side now. Burke collapsed back onto the bed, hand over his forehead. He was breathing heavily, covered in sweat. He looked a lot like how Anna May felt at that moment.

Tracy gave her a look then glared at Whitehorse, then Virgil, who had been standing behind them the whole time.

“This was a mistake,” Tracy said.

“Tracy-“

“Don’t you fucking ‘Tracy’ me, Virgil!” Tracy yelled, “You don’t know Faith, not like I do. You don’t understand how she can get in your head and mess with how you think-“

But Tracy stopped herself, looking defeated, giving Anna May another look.

“You can’t trust him,” Tracy said. She shoved her way past Virgil and Whitehorse, leaving the infirmary. Virgil gave Anna May a nod.

“I’ll, uh, go talk to her,” he said, “Thanks, Deputy,” and he was gone. Whitehorse sighed and looked down at Burke, who had passed out in the argument.

“You did good today, Rook,” he said.

“How did you guys find us?” Anna May asked. Whitehorse chuckled.

“Sharky Boshaw called,” Whitehorse said, “For being one of the most wanted criminals in the county, you certainly got on his good side. He saw you running after Faith.”

“He’s a good friend,” Anna May mummered, and laid back down.

“Get some rest, Rook. We’ll talk more in the morning,” Whitehorse said, and Anna May felt herself drifting off to sleep as he left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely want to do more with Burke and look at that, he’s here now! Hope you enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

Burke was still asleep when Anna May woke up late in the next afternoon. She was exhausted; the nauseous feeling she felt after leaving the Bliss last night was there on top of a continuous throb from her still aching head. It took her a good while to make herself sit, then stand up, and take a look at the still passed out marshal.

Burke looked no different than he did the night before. His face was pale and as Anna May watched, she could see him twitch in his sleep. He muttered a few words when she approached him, then stopped, going back into a fitful sleep. She’ll have to come by and talk to him again when he is up for it.

Anna May began to make her way outside, lifting a hand to block out the sunshine when she pushed the door to the prison open, the sun temporarily causing the pain in her head to spike before fading away. Anna May blinked in the sunlight. The prison around her was not that much different as it was when she first arrived. Most Cougars were keeping watch and many of the others were either talking among themselves or working on the gate, making sure to keep on top of its maintenance.

The mood in the prison had changed however. Anna May could feel the tension the moment she got outside, radiating from each Cougar while they were hard at work. Many of them went quiet as Anna May walked past most of the groups, someone quickly calling out a greeting before the Deputy could hear their conversation. The guards up top kept looking over down into the yard, jumping and facing the woods again when Anna May stopped to watch them.

Tracy, Virgil, and Whitehorse were nowhere to be seen. Anna May had hoped to run into one of them, to get a better idea on what really happened last night, but she didn’t know where they could possibly be at.

Anna May started to walk, heading to the ladder that led up to the prison walls. She figured she could take a look around, clear her head, then look for the sheriff.

The woods around the prison were quiet. That should be a good thing, but Anna May found herself jumping at any little noise that came from it, bird call or falling branch alike, half expecting a flock of peggies and angels to come running out of the woods.

Yes, there certainly was tension, but this was different from John’s threats. Faith was furious with Anna May, she could feel her anger as if it was her own, Faith’s furying was settling around the Henbane River like a fog. Her rescue was not going to go forgiven and Anna May knew to expect some kind of retaliation. She should be scared, but despite everything, she felt mostly calm. Anna May has a feeling that she is going to know ahead of time when Faith decides to come for her for what she hopes will be their final fight. Now that they have Burke, they don’t have to worry about tiptoeing around her, they can confront Faith head on and break the Siren’s hold of the Henbane River Region.

Anna May was thinking that as she entered one of the watchtowers at each corner of the prison, this one located at the northeast corner of the prison. She was surprised to find Tracy there, leaning against a table and reading a letter. She looked up and crumpled it, holding the ball of paper in one hand and crossed her arms.

“It took you long enough to get out of bed,” Tracy said.

“That nap didn’t do me any good,” Anna May replied. She leaned against the doorway.

“It doesn’t look like it. You look like shit,” she replied.

“Feel like it too,” Anna May said, raising a hand to rub her eyes, “What are you doing out here, anyway? The Cougars are on the fritz. Where is Whitehorse and Virgil?”

“In Virgil’s office with the doc,” Tracy replied, “Talking more about curing the angels, not that thats going to work.”

“And you? How are you?” Anna May asked. Tracy scoffed.

“I’ll be better once we take Faith down,” Tracy said. She gave Anna May a look, then sighed.

“Listen, I get you and Earl wanted to save Burke from Faith, but what we’re doing with him now is a mistake,” Tracy said.

“Then what do you propose we do?” Anna May said.

“Get him the hell out of here. Or lock him up in one of the cells,” Tracy said. Anna May raised an eyebrow at her.

“He’s not in the Bliss anymore, I don’t see what the problem is,” Anna May said. Tracy rolled her eyes.

“That’s because you don’t know her,” Tracy said, “You don’t know how she uses people, that marshal is not right in the head and if she wants to use him again, she can, and now we got one of her tools running around in our base with us. If she wants to destroy something now, we only make it easy for her to do so.”

“How do you know?” Anna May asked. Tracy gave a smirk.

“I thought you of anyone would understand how,” Tracy looked down at the paper in her hand and turned to toss it out the window next to her. Anna May watched it go.

“You know littering is illegal, right?” She said.

“What are you going to do, put me in prison?” Tracy chuckled. Anna May gave her a small smile.

“So when did she write that to you?” Anna May asked. Tracy’s smile vanished and she looked away from Anna May, staring at a spot next to the Deputy.

“Before all of this shit started,” Tracy said, “She was trying to convince me that I was-“ Tracy pulled a face “-jealous of Joseph because the cult made her happy. It’s all a load of bullshit.”

“Were you in Eden’s Gate too?” Anna My asked. Tracy gave a nod and shrugged.

“I thought it was a good idea at the time,” Tracy said, “Let's turn our lives around, get clean and hold hands and sing hallelujah , all of that crap that the church tries to sell you. I left some weeks after I joined, but Rachel-“ 

Tracy grimaced and sighed.

“Her name is Rachel Jessop,” Tracy continued, “After I left, she started going by Faith Seed. Joseph sold her some bullshit and, well, here we are.”

Anna May gave a frown.

“She’s not Faith Seed,” Anna May said, “I met the real Faith before.”

Anna May remembered, at a party, where she first met the Seeds eight years ago. A tall, beautiful blond woman was Faith Seed, not the current one who is much shorter with brown hair. 

Tracy gave a harsh laugh.

“That is the biggest mystery, isn’t it?” Tracy said, leaning closer towards Anna May, “You think you know someone, and they end up being someone else. Faith, John, they both fooled us. Faith even fooled herself, and now we’re the ones having to clean up their mess.”

“Don’t you wish you tried harder, not that you haven't tried hard enough!” Anna May said quickly when Tracy glared at her. She shifted in her spot.

“I tried to convince John to stop doing what he was doing, just after we tried to arrest Joseph,” Anna May admitted, “I want to just pretend that he’s my enemy, but I keep thinking about the things we used to do. It’s hard fighting someone who used to be one of your closest friends.” Tracy stared at her, then nodded.

“How the hell did you even become friends with the guy anyway?” Tracy said, “I thought he was a huge douchebag, even before I realized how awful the cult really was.” Anna May shrugged.

“He ran into me at the old cafe, before it closed down, remember it? We used to hang out there most mornings. He tried recruiting me then left when I declined, but he kept coming back. I used to think he didn’t have an issue with me not being in Eden’s Gate, but the stories I kept hearing started to worry me, so I confronted him about it, and it didn’t go well.”

“I was wondering why he bought that place, I thought Eden’s Gate was going to try and recruit people with cappuccinos. I figured Joseph wasn’t on board with the idea as John was,” Tracy said.

“I think he bought it because of me, he didn’t own it until after we fought,” Anna May said. Tracy bursted out laughing.

“What kind of petty asshole buys a fucking cafe over an argument!?” She laughed. Anna May shrugged and grinned at her.

“He holds the worst kinds of grudges,” she said, “He’s got it out really bad for Nick and I think he blames me for my friend Dolly breaking up with him, and not on the fact that she maybe didn’t want to marry someone who tortures people. John is very weird.”

“I needed a laugh, Rook, I really did,” Tracy said. The smile faded from her face and she gave Anna May a serious look.

“Faith is going to try to do everything she can to get back at you,” Tracy said.

“I know,” Anna May sighed, “But we want to confront her, right?”

“Before she does any real damage,” Tracy said, “Just be careful out there, okay? Knowing her, something very nasty is going to come up.”

“I will,” Anna May replied. Tracy got off of her spot on the wall and went over to the entrance of the tower, turning to give Anna May one last look.

“Let's talk again, Rook. Its, ah, its been fun,” Tracy gave Anna May an awkward nod and walked out. Anna May closed her eyes and leaned her head against the brick wall, opening them and taking a deep breath before leaving the tower too.

—————

Burke woke up as Anna May was finishing meeting with Whitehorse, Virgil, and Dr. Charles. He had stumbled into the office, confused and distorted, until they got him to sit down, a cup of tea in hand, with the doctor examining him.

“I think he is fine,” the doctor said. 

“You think?” Whitehorse asked. Dr. Charles scratched the back of his head.

“Well, we still don’t know exactly _how_ the Bliss works,” he admitted, “He’s not clean, I imagine he’s going through some kind of withdrawal after the amount of time he’s been in there, but he’s not an angel. As long as he doesn’t go back, he should be fine.”

“How are you feeling, marshal?” Whitehorse asked Burke. Through the whole conversation, Burke was quiet, staring down at the tea in his hands, but the moment Whitehorse addressed him, he jumped.

“I’m fine,” Burke said quickly, waving a hand to shoo away the still hovering doctor, “I told you, I can handle it- I just don’t need more drugs.”

“You should at least take the shot,” Virgil said, “The Deputy took it twice now and she’s fine-“

“I told you,” Burke said, quickly looking up to glare at Virgil, “I. Am. _Fine_. Just let me sleep it off.”

“You slept for almost a full day and you’re still reacting like you just got pulled out,” Dr. Charles said.

“Why don’t you deal with your own problems and let me deal with this alone, doctor?” Burke said, “Don’t you have some more people who need their injuries checked?”

Dr. Charles gave Whitehorse an exasperated look, but Whitehorse shook his head at him. He gave a sigh.

“Fine, I’ll just go then,” the doctor said, and he turned, walking out of the prison block, muttering under his breath.

“You should listen to him,” Whitehorse said to Burke after the doctor left. Burke gave a loud “hmph” staring down at the still full tea in his hands, then holding it out to Virgil, who took it.

“I’ll, uh, put this over here, if you want it later,” Virgil said, walking over to the table in the middle of the block and setting the cup down, “Sheriff, do you mind coming into my office for a moment?” 

“Can do,” Whitehorse said, giving Burke another look before walking off. Anna May stood there, watching Burke. He was staring at the ground, seeming to not have noticed that she was still there. It was another long moment before Anna May loudly cleared her throat.

“Everyone’s pretty worried about you,” Anna May said. Burke didn’t reply.

“Do you remember anything from being in the Bliss,” Anna May asked. Burke looked up at her.

“I don’t know what it’s like in Faith’s bunker, but any information would be helpful. Every time someone says I’m in there, all I see is just woods,” she explained. Burke continued to stare at her and she shifted uncomfortably in her spot.

“Do you remember our conversation, just before I tackled you?” Anna May gave an awkward laugh. After a pause, Burke nodded and Anna May sighed.

“Thank you, Rook,” he said. Anna May’s eyes widened.

“You’re not mad at me?” Anna May asked. Burke shrugged.

“I don’t know,” Burke replied. He looked down at his hands and seemed to be surprised that they were empty, opening and closing his fists like he was expecting that cup of tea to reappear in them again. 

“So what was it like in the Bliss,” Anna May asked, “When Faith wasn’t having you jump off statues or going on boat rides.”

Burke quickly gave her a look, then stared off towards the other side of the prison. His eyes seemed to glaze over and grow unfocused.

“It was more real than anything here is,” he said, a look of mild surprise on his face, as if he wasn’t expecting that reply himself. He opened and closed his fists again before leaving them lax on his lap.

“I know it’s not real,” he continued, “She got me with whatever stuff they’ve been putting in the river. It’s all in flashes but it was so… warm, like I was on the edge of falling asleep, struggling to open my eyes, but I wasn’t quite there yet-“

Burke reached out a hand, gesturing towards the other side of the prison.

“- and as hard as I tried, I could never make myself snap out of it,” he said, dropping his hand back to his lap again. He looked up at Anna May.

“It’s like a dream, and yet, more real than anything else I’ve ever felt before,” he finished. 

“So why not let the doctor help you, or Whitehorse?” She asked. Burke quickly shook his head, then stopped, wincing and holding a hand up to his head.

“No more drugs,” he croaked out. Anna May gave him a nod. All of her visits into the Bliss have been brief but the Bliss still had impacted her horribly after she was free from it. She can’t imagine how much worse it is for Burke right now.

“Just take it easy, and be careful. Okay? Avoid the river and watch out for any green barrels,” She said. Burke made no reply, going back to staring across the prison again. Anna May made her way to the block's door and towards Virgil’s office.

“I’m worried about him,” she announced the moment she closed the door behind her. Virgil and Whitehorse were in the middle of a conversation, broken only by the Deputy’s arrival.

“I think he had much more trouble getting out of the Bliss than he’s letting on,” she continued. Whitehorse nodded.

“We are having the same thoughts,” he said, nodding a head towards Virgil.

“We can’t do anything about it, not if he’s refusing any help,” Virgil said.

“We’ll keep an eye on him,” Whitehorse said.

“Have you ever seen anything as bad with someone and the Bliss before?” Anna May asked. Virgil gave her an uncomfortable look.

“Er, no,” Virgil said, “Anything worse turned people into angels.”

“Oh,” she replied, her heart sinking.

“But he won’t be one, now that he’s out!” He said quickly, “Faith couldn’t risk it, not while she needed him, and now she can’t even if she wanted to.”

“The marshall should be good for now, Rook,” Whitehorse, “We can take care of him from here. You need to go to Holland Valley.”

“Why Holland Valley?” Anna May asked, an uneasy knot growing in her stomach.

“It’s nothing bad,” Whotehorse reassured her, “While you were asleep, Pastor Jerome radioed for you. Said they had a special case that needed to be looked into and to tell you about it as soon as you can go.”

“Oh, alright, I can do that,” Anna May said, feeling relieved. She had thought it could have been horrible news, news related to John or Hudson. She turned towards the door, ready to leave.

“Be careful, Rook,” Whitehorse said, “I don’t know what it’s like in the valley, but something is different here. The mists are rising, and I’m having a feeling this whole thing is about to reach a breaking point very soon.”

Anna May gave Whitehorse a small smile.

“I’ve been feeling it to,” she said, then she walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never had really considered it before writing this chapter but if anyone in Hope County doesn’t have a right to make fun of Anna May for once being friends with John, it would be Tracy. This was also fun for me to get into writing for her and Burke more, I almost never get to otherwise XD
> 
> I can’t wait to explore Burke’s character more, I felt like we could have gotten more than we did.


	9. Chapter 9

Before the fight with Eden’s Gate had started, Anna May had a roommate, or rather she still does, but when you’re busy fighting a cult, you don’t spend that much time in your own home, even if it is in the middle of Falls End.

Especially if your roommate happens to be John Seed’s ex.

“Has John tried to contact you since this whole thing started?” Anna May asked. The two of them were hanging out together now. Anna May had just gotten back to Holland Valley that evening and figured she could talk to the pastor about what he needed help with tomorrow. She wanted to sleep after everything that had happened in the last few days and it’s not like she lived that far away from the church.

“Yes,” Dolly Portman replied. She was curled up on a nearby chair, reading something on her phone. She rolled her eyes.

“He’s really pissed off at you,” she continued.

“He is? I didn’t notice,” Anna May said. She looked up from where she was reading a novel to give Dolly a grin.

It was weird, coming back home after avoiding it for so long. Anna May had her reasons for why she did so, and she could only be thankful that Dolly had held down the fort and kept the cult from looting it, but it didn’t keep her from feeling like a stranger in her own home. At least now that Falls End is able to defend itself from Eden’s Gate, Anna May could feel safe coming back to this place every once in a while, or at least, she did before her last meeting with the Baptist, but it has been a long time since she had last came by. She could risk one night in her own house.

“Hows Faith anyway. I haven't been by the prison in a while,” Dolly asked. 

“Just as pissed as John,” Anna May said, “I saved Burke.”

“How did that go?”

Anna May shrugged, “Could have been better, but he’s out of the Bliss, so that’s something. Still stubborn too, but he should recover, eventually.”

“Good job,” Dolly said. She put her phone down on the arm of the chair.

“Soooo,” She said, “John said you went to talk to Joseph. When did that happen and how come you didn’t tell me?”

Anna May winced. Damn it, she had hoped no one else would have found out.

“Joseph was being a dick to him,” Anna May said, “So I told him off.”

“That's very nice of you, for someone who was thrown into a river because of John,” Dolly gave Anna May a sly smile. 

“Bold words coming from someone who kept wanting to go see their ex for three years after breaking up with him,” Anna May gave Dolly a smile back, “Are you talking to him right now?”

“No,” Dolly said, “Mary May.”

“What does she want?” 

“She wanted to know if I could help her with getting the town some gas tomorrow,” Dolly said, “Falls End is running low and John’s bleeding the local gas stations dry.”

Anna May raised an eyebrow at Dolly, but made no reply.

“It's been getting a little crazy around here,” Dolly admitted, “I can barely go down the road before running into a fight. Then, I go farther down, and look at that, another gun fight.”

“John’s scared,” Anna May stood up and stretched.

“And you?” Dolly asked. 

“Well, yeah,” Anna May said, “But aren’t we all? The cult’s terrifying, and the Seeds are worse, but we have to fight them, so I can’t just crawl in my room and hide, as much as I would like to, right?”

Dolly gave a laugh as Anna May made her way to her bedroom. It was a little messy, obviously needing a good cleaning. She’ll have to give it one when this is all over. She put on some sweatpants and an old shirt and climbed into her bed, closing her eyes and thinking. 

Holland Valley is at a tipping point, and all she needed was to give one more good shove before it falls over. Afterwards, who knows what will happen, to her, to John, and to the Resistance.

She sighed, drifting off to sleep as she tried to imagine what the valley will be like once John’s grip on it was finally broken.

————————

“Y-you’re the Deputy!”

“I sure am!” Anna May said cheerfully. The VIP looked up at her with wide eyes from where he was sitting, hugging his knees on the floor. 

Pastor Jerome had given her a rather interesting mission that morning when she showed up to the church.

“You want me to help a peggie?” She had asked when he had given her the details of the rescue mission.

“We have to show them forgiveness,” Pastor Jerome said, “Not all of the peggies there are as brainwashed as most. We have to show them that they can come back to the righteous path, and that they are encouraged to do so.”

“I like it,” Anna May had replied, but the truth was she never had considered it. It was a no brainer that Joseph was manipulating so many people, Tracy’s story about Faith showed that, but she didn’t think about anyone who had joined who wants to leave, and here she was now, giving a smile to an Eden’s Gate VIP, one of the most devoted members of the cult, and he was asking her to save him from the Father.

“Don’t let them take me back,” he begged, “I- I can’t go back there- you don’t know what's going to happen-“

“I have a good idea,” Anna May said, kneeling down beside him, “You don’t need to worry. Once the boat gets here, we’ll get you out.”

“Promise?” He asked. She nodded, and he looked relieved.

“Dep, cults here!” Nick’s voice yelled from the entrance of the trailer. The VIPs face paled when Anna May turned to face him again.

“Stay here. We won’t let them get you,” she said. He nodded, and she ran out the door, pulling out her rifle.

Nick was on the porch, gun aimed towards a couple of approaching vehicles. More of the Resistance were hidden across the trailer park, all aiming in the same direction. Nick usually was in his plane when he helped Anna May, but that was too dangerous now. Carmina was a flying weapon, but they can’t risk friendly fire. Nick knows how to handle a gun and he had his own rifle pulled out too.

“I’m not too sure I feel good about helping a peggie,” Nick said.

“He’s not going to be a peggie much longer, not after today,” Anna May said firmly. One of the other Resistance members turned and gave her a nod before gazing back at the road. One of the peggies in the trucks gave a holler and raised his gun.

Then the gunfire started. Anna May aimed her weapon at the approaching vehicle, aiming at one of the peggies in the back. The truck turned and she ducked as bullets flew over her head. Nick crouched right next to her.

“We should move!” Nick said.

“We can’t leave the VIP!” Anna May yelled, standing up to shoot at the trucks again. 

“Duck!” One man yelled and she crouched again as one of the trucks blew up, launching up into the air and landing with a loud crash. Anna May stood up as the peggies began to rush them. 

One made it to the trailer porch, running up the stairs and tried to grab at Anna May’s rifle. Nick was busy with another peggie, using his own gun to scare him off, as Anna May struggled to get her attacker off of her.

“You’re not taking our brother!” The man snarled.

“He’s not your brother!” Anna May shot back, wrenching the rifle out of the peggies grasp then taking the butt of it and hitting the man in the face.

He stumbled back, holding up his hands to his heavily bleeding nose, then fell down the porch stairs and onto his back on the dirt. One of the Resistance members grabbed the man, dragging him off as Anna May turned to see Nick, who had killed his own attacker.

“This is it?” Nick looked around at the already ended fight.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Anna May asked. Her radio buzzed and she picked it up.

“We’re here,” a woman’s voice said, “Bring the peggie over to the docks, we’ll take over from there.”

“Will do,” Anna May said. She put the radio away and she and Nick walked on inside to where the VIP was still sitting, head laid on his knees and hands raised to his ears. He lifted his head up and put his hands down when Anna May and Nick entered the room.

“The boats here,” Anna May said.

“Oh thank God,” the man said, scrambling to his feet. Anna May noticed he was shaking so badly, she wouldn’t have been surprised if he fell over, but he stayed standing, following the two of them out the door of the trailer and down the park towards the docks.

The woods around the trailer park were eerily quiet, making Anna May nervous. Pastor Jerome had told her a story, when she first was given this mission, of a man named Will who had gone turncoat on Eden’s Gate for some reason the pastor had chosen not to specify. He had told her they were up against many peggies then, and to expect a ton of force, perhaps more than what he had to deal with, when Eden’s Gate shows up, but this was nothing.

She couldn’t help but look behind her back and scan the tree line the whole time they walked, expecting there to be an armada of peggies waiting for them by the river, but the woods remained silent, and they reached the boat easily.

“Thank you, Deputy, thank you!” The VIP exclaimed when they reached the docks.

“It was my pleasure,” Anna May said, “Take it easy out there, and try not to join anymore cults in the future, okay?”

“O-okay,” the man said, “Thanks again, Deputy, really.”

Anna May smiled at him, one that disappeared as soon as the boat set sail, disappearing down the river bend.

“I wonder how many more people like him are in Eden’s Gate,” Anna May asked, a gross lump forming in her throat at the unasked question.

How many people like him has she killed?

“Not many,” Nick answered, “I got to be honest, Dep, this is the weirdest thing that's happened yet.”

“How do you think I feel?” Anna May asked. The radio turned on and Anna May grabbed it.

“We got him out, pastor,” Anna May said.

“I’m not a pastor, Wrath,” John said. Nick made a noise that almost sounded like a growl next to Anna May when he heard the Baptist, stepping closer to Anna May to listen to John.

“Hey dude, whats up?” Anna May asked, “I helped one of your guys leave just now. I don’t think he wants to stick around to see the Collapse.”

“I am well aware,” John said in a strained voice.

“Then what gives? You sent like, five peggies and two trucks? You’re losing your touch.”

“Oh no, Wrath, I’m still more in control of this situation than you’re even giving me credit for,” he practically purred. She rolled her eyes.

“Sure you are,” Anna May said. John laughed.

“If you really must know, I’ve been busy getting a little surprise ready for you,” he said.

“Well color me intrigued,” Anna May replied, shooting Nick a look. He began to scan the woods around them

“I know you’re with Nick Rye right now,” John said.

“Yeah, what do you want?” Nick turned back towards the radio, glaring down at it.

“Well you and the Deputy are the guests of honor, for your atonments,” he replied. 

“I don’t think you’ve been listening. We’re not saying yes,” Anna May said.

“But Mary May and Pastor Jerome here have been waiting so patiently for your arrival, I’d hate to see what would happen to them if you both decide to skip it,” John said in a sing-song voice. 

“What?” Anna May asked. John gave a laugh.

“Don’t sound so surprised, Wrath,” John said. His voice grew more serious.

“I have gathered your friends here in Falls End, Deputy,” John said, “Time and time again you have ignored and attacked my family, and enough is enough. Faith has suffered because of you when you broke her trust as horribly as you did. You will reach atonement, you will say Yes, and you will beg for forgiveness, even if I have to rip every syllable of it out from the both of you.”

Nick had gone pale. He grabbed the radio from Anna May.

“Where is Kim,” Nick snarled into it, “I swear, if you touched her-“

“Nick, I would never dream of hurting Kim Rye,” John sounded offended, “Maybe that's how your Resistance does it, but we don’t drag pregnant mothers out screaming from their homes.”

 _“Liar,”_ Nick said. John tutted.

“You’re getting a little _too_ wrathy there, Nick,” John said, “We don’t want anything _bad_ to happen, now would we?”

Anna May gently took the radio back from Nick. She couldn’t tell if John was lying. She was just there in Falls End that morning. She saw Dolly before she left, she talked to Pastor Jerome, she even had waved goodbye to Casey and Mary May before driving off to the Silver Lake Trailer Park. 

“How do we know you’re not bluffing?” Anna May asked suspiciously.

“Come back to Falls End and you can see how we decorated the place for you,” John said, “Come home now. I’ll see you soon.”

There was a click and John was gone. Nick began to pace, back and forth along the path.

“Damn it, I shouldn’t have listened to Kim!” Nick said, “We should have left when we got the plane- this is bad, Dep-!”

“I don’t think he has her, Nick,” Anna May said. Nick stopped pacing.

“How can you believe what that sociopath is saying!?” Nick said.

“Cause if anything he’s done in the past has proven one thing, it’s that he enjoys goading you,” Anna May said, “He wants us to go to Falls End, or he hopes you’ll go back home. I don’t know!”

“And what if he does have Kim?”

“Then we go and save her,” Anna May replied, looking back down at the radio in her hand. John made no mention of Hudson at all to her. She had expected him to, after he talked about Kim, but she knows he knows he doesn’t need to. The threat was there, Hudson’s safety hanging there tantalizingly in front of her, and John knows he can take it away at any moment, so long as she didn’t do what he wanted.

“I have to go to Falls End,” Anna May said, “You’re free to go back home and check on Kim, I won’t stop you, but if John is telling the truth, then Mary May and Pastor Jerome need help. I can’t leave them there.”

Nick gave a sigh.

“I’m sorry, Dep-“ 

“Nick, stop. She's your wife, I understand,” Anna May said, “Find Kim, then come to Falls End.”

“I will,” Nick said, sounding more determined. They made their way back to the trailer park where the rest of the Resistance were cleaning up, none of them knowing that, possibly right now, Falls End was taken over by Eden’s Gate. 

Anna May got into a car as Nick sped away down the road and sighed, gripping the steering wheel in front of her, and closed her eyes tight, bracing herself for what's about to happen next. She then put the key into the ignition, and drove off, heading towards Falls End where her final encounter with John awaits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to reference Absolution, considering how much of John and Anna May’s backstory together involves it, its only fair for me to reference that book when it makes sense XD
> 
> Sorry for a late chapter, I’ve been working on later chapters of this story and they’ve been taking a while.


	10. Chapter 10

She should have known it was going to be an ambush, Anna May thought as her vision went black, the last conscious sensation she had was the pain from her now bruising face and the feeling of the peggie who had hit her grabbing her leg and dragging her inside the church.

John wasn’t kidding when he said that he was preparing for her arrival. Anna May showed up to Falls End, the town now quiet and empty. Various places were boarded up and there was no sign of life anywhere. The church, further down the road, was decorated with the grizzly sight of many dead crows hammered into the building’s white walls. A red carpet leading towards one of the prisoner vans had dead bodies on it, the black word “Atonement” was painted on the giant sign in front of the church. The disturbing scene had John Seed written all over it.

Anna May had parked the car outside and got out, cautiously approaching the closed door into the church. She didn’t know what to expect as she reached the door and opened it, and was greeted by a peggie slamming the end of the rifle into her face, knocking her out.

She was coming to now. Something heavy was sitting on her, something else holding her left shoulder down. Her chest hurt as a sharp, white heat of pain scraped across it and as her vision cleared, she saw the boot on her move, letting her fully see John Seed tattooing her chest. Anna May reached up and grabbed his arm, her other hand trying to grab the tattoo gun, but he held it away from her.

“Get the fuck off of me!”

“Hold still,” John said sternly, “It’s suppose to say ‘wrath’ not... ‘rat.’”

Anna May tried to grab the tattoo gun again, but after failing to pull it out of John’s hand once more, she stopped, letting go of him. He gave her a smile and went back to work. Anna May gritted her teeth.

“Really glad I never went to you when I got my first tattoo,” she hissed, “You really suck at this.”

John pressed his lips together and Anna May could feel him go over one of the lines in the T on her chest again.

“Sin,” he said to her, quietly, “Must be exposed so it can be... absolved. To hide our sins is to hide our true selves. After today, you won’t hide your self from me any longer.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Anna May asked, wincing. John didn’t reply to her, instead, he lifted the tattoo gun away from Anna May, studying the word ‘Wrath’ he had just put on her.

“Ah, perfect,” he said, and got off of her. Anna May quickly sat up as he got to his feet and looked down at her chest. 

Her skin had turned a dark red around the area where John had tattooed her. A drop of black ink rolled down her skin. Anna May lifted a hand up to wipe it off, wincing when she felt the raw skin. 

John was looking down at her, a big smile on his face as he watched her.

“Do you like it?” He asked.

“No,” she said. His grin faltered, then he picked it back up again.

“That’s fine. You won’t have to worry about it for much longer, “ he replied. He turned around.

“Lets begin!”

Anna May felt two sets of hands roughly grab her and lifted her to her feet, pushing her towards the altar. John wasn’t lying when he had called her earlier; Mary May and Pastor Jerome were already there, Mary May tattoo free and Pastor Jerome shirtless with a bleeding wound on his chest. Anna May gave him an apologetic look, then noticed, to her surprise, that Nick was standing next to him, also shirtless, with ‘Greed’ tattooed onto him.

“Nick?” She said shocked as she approached them. John gave them both a look.

“I told him that I wasn’t going to harm Kim, but he didn’t listen and come with you here, so I had my family pick him up before you arrived,” he explained, “A good thing too, I thought having all of your friends here would have made your atonement easier, although, Miss Portman is unfortunately missing, and Miss Fairgrave will have to sit this out as she can’t be marked like all of you can be.”

John gave Mary May a disgusted look then put a hand on Pastor Jerome, pushing him over to stand in front of Nick. Anna May saw that he had his bible, the hollow one he showed her when he rescued her weeks ago, but John immediately smacked it out of his hands and lifted another one, the familiar brown leather book Anna May had stolen from Faith.

“You recognize this?” John asked her, shoving it into Pastor Jerome’s hands, “It’s a gift, from you to me. Now Faith can have her property back, and you can give me a ‘Yes.’ In the end, your soul's will be saved, and everyone will win, don’t you agree?”

Anna May just glared at him as he smiled at her. He didn’t let his eyes leave her face as he turned back to Pastor Jerome.

“‘Dearly beloved’,” he said to him, “say it.”

Pastor Jerome didn’t say anything or move, just glare at John. He sighed and took a step back, giving a nod at the peggie next to him. The man took out his pistol and hit Jerome in the head with it, knocking the older man to the ground. Mary May immediately lunged for John, who stepped away from her as two more peggies grabbed her, forcing her back. 

Anna May looked down at the pastor, who had dropped Faith’s book next to his. She watched him lift a hand to his head and grab the book, his book, just as he was pulled to his feet. 

John put a hand on his shoulder and shoved him back in front of Nick again.

“Lets try that again,” he laughed, then his face grew dark.

“‘Dearly beloved,’” he began, a slight smile appeared on his face when Pastor Jerome began to repeat what he was saying. Nick shook his head.

“I ain’t bowing to that psychopath,” he snarled. John pushed Jerome out of the way and stood in front of him, lifting his hands at him.

“There it is, Greed,” John said, “Thinking about yourself and not others. Never considering _other_ people’s needs-“

Anna May glanced at Jerome, who was giving her a piercing stare, looking down at the book in his hand then at her. She gave a very small nod, she knew what she needed to do. Pastor Jerome closed his eyes, slightly bowing his head.

Nick had spit on John, catching Anna May’s attention again. John looked surprised, lifting a hand to wipe at his face.

“Huh,” he said, then took a step towards Nick and grabbed him by the shoulders. Anna May tried to move forward, but hands on her shoulders kept her back. John wasn’t hurting Nick, instead, he leaned forward, whispering some quick words into his ear. Anna May couldn’t see Nick's face, but when John leaned away from him, Nick looked surprised.

“Nick?” John said in a quiet voice. The peggies next to Nick loosened their grip on him. He looked around the room, stopping to give Anna May a longer look, then back at John.

“Y-Yes. I’ll atone,” he said. John smiled as the peggies next to Nick grabbed him again, and John pulled out a knife.

“John, _no!_ “ Anna May screamed at him, then felt a fist connect with the side of her head as she tried to run towards John, who was now kneeling on Nick. The peggies pulled her back and she could hear Nick scream, and when John stood up again, his arms were covered in blood, a long piece of skin with the word Greed on it in his hands.

“This is the power of Yes!” John said, approaching the wall behind him, “To admit your sins and expose yourself to what you are and the power to free yourself from it!”

John stapled the skin to the wall, then turned back to Nick, kneeling to check his now wrapped up wound. Anna May gave John a glare when he stood up and looked at her. He took some steps towards her and, like Nick, placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned in close until he could whisper in her ear.

“I am glad you’re finally able to see what I have been trying to show you,” he said, “When this is all over, you’ll be thanking us, and I’ll forgive you.”

Anna May made no reply as John let go of her, leaving bloody handprints on her shoulders and turned around, walking towards the altar. She shared a look with Pastor Jerome.

John cleaned his hands, pausing to stare down at the water before turning around back to Pastor Jerome, leading him to Anna May.

“Anna May,” John began, “Do you renounce your sins, admit your transgressions, and are willing to walk into the Gates of Eden with us? Say Yes.”

Pastor Jerome repeated what John said and lifted the book towards her.

Anna May studied the book, then placed a hand on it. John gave her a relieved smile.

“I don’t think so,” Anna May said, then flipped the book open, grabbing the gun Jerome had inside, wiping the smile off of John’s face.

She raised it towards John’s face, then hesitated, and in that moment, a peggie grabbed her hand, accidentally making her squeeze the trigger.

“NO!” She screamed as her hand was yanked into the air. She tried to look past the struggling peggie next to her and was relieved to see John still standing, his hand gripping the side of his head, blood streaming through his fingers. Two more peggies ran and grabbed him, leading him past the struggling Deputy and out of the church.

Anna May tried to throw her attacker off of her, but didn’t have to struggle for long before Mary May was on top of him. Anna May was shoved to the floor and reached for the dropped gun, grabbing it and aiming it at the peggie in front of her. His body fell and Mary May grabbed his rifle.

“We’re not letting John Seed get away this time!” Mary May yelled, and she made her way towards the church door where more of the cult was gathered outside.

Pastor Jerome ran to Nick, who was still on the floor, blood already soaking through the bandages on his chest. Anna May gave them one last look before she ran after Mary May, following her to the door.

They were surrounded. The white van was driving off and many peggies were outside, guns aimed in their direction.

“We’ll have to go through the back,” Anna May said. Mary May gave a nod, but before any of them could even move, there came a loud screeching from down the road. A tanker was speeding towards them. As Anna May watched it approach, she could see someone in the driver's seat jump out of the car. Peggies ran off the road to avoid getting crushed by the vehicle. It hit a nearby car and stopped.

Anna May didn’t even hesitate. She raised the gun and shot it, firing a few rounds before the tanker exploded, sending shrapnel and peggies flying. Anna May and Mary May fell over as the force of the explosion hit the church, but the walls held.

They looked out the door to find more vehicles approaching the church, the riders shooting at the still remaining peggies. Their rescuer got to their feet and Anna May realized it was Dolly. She ran down the stairs and to her as Dolly was dusting herself off.

“Hey, whats up?” She said, “I just saved your ass back there.”

“And it was awesome,” Anna May replied.

“DEP!” Mary May yelled, and Anna May turned to see her getting into one of the Resistance’s vehicles, a large green truck with a turret on top. Dolly took a deep breath.

“You’re going after him,” she asked.

“I have to,” Anna May said. Dolly nodded and looked down.

“Just be careful,” she said. 

“I will,” Anna May said, then made her way to the truck, hopping on and taking her place on the turret. Mary May slammed her foot on the accelerator and they were flying down the road.

“Do you think he could have made his way back to his bunker?” Anna May yelled down at Mary May. A man sitting next to her turned and shook his head.

“He’s going back to the ranch!” The man said loudly.

“But that's ours!”

“Yeah, he had his people attack it! Where do you think we were going? It was just stupid luck we happened to stop by Falls End first,” he explained.

“We appreciate it!” Mary May yelled back. Anna May brought her focus back to the road, but she found herself starting to zone out, thinking hard.

She knew that she would have to face John in a fight in the future but she didn’t think she would be so unprepared for it as she was at that moment. After what just happened, there shouldn’t be any hesitation on what she has to do, he hurt Nick and Jerome, then tried to force her to go through his idea of atonement, all for what, some personal grudge against her that he refuses to even talk about? She should be angry, so ready to show John Seed that wrath he claims she clearly has let consume her.

But in that car, Anna May could only feel an undescribable, bone crushing sadness at the idea of what must be done.

A plane flew overhead and a car in the distance in front of them exploded. Anna May gripped the large gun as Mary May swerved out of the way, then spun on the spot, turning the gun to aim at the retreating plane. She began to shoot at it, most of the other vehicles still behind them following suit. The plane circled around them and made another dive, heading towards Anna May. She took careful aim at the pilot's window and began to fire. The plane began to turn and crashed into the trees with a loud explosion.

“Hold on!” Mary May yelled, and she turned onto the dirt road leading up to John’s ranch. Peggies in quads and trucks were approaching them. Anna May aimed at them, trying to scare them out of their way.

A plane flew overhead and Anna May watched it go, the familiar sight of Affirmation now leaving the ranch, away from the fight.

“ _Fucking coward!_ ” Mary May yelled at the retreating plane.

“He’s got another plane in the hanger, come on!” Anna May yelled. Her radio clicked on.

“You refused to say Yes countless times!” John was yelling into the radio, “I handed you salvation on a silver platter and you have decided to ignore my gift, Wrath! And now- now-!”

An explosion went off nearby, cutting off the rest of what John was going to say. Anna May lifted the radio back up to her.

“-if you are not a coward then you would face me in the air!” He finished, then the radio was off.

“That was him!” Anna May yelled.

“I heard!” Mary May replied. She turned to park next to the hanger. The ranch had become a war zone.

The Resistance and peggies were locked in a vicious fight of the likes Anna May had never seen before. People were falling from the porch and rooftops as they were shot down, whether it would be from passing planes from above or from someone on foot from below. Another bomb went off in the courtyard, sending bodies flying into the air. Blood covered the steps leading up into the ranch and Anna May could see shattered windows from where the fight was going on inside.

But the Resistance was winning. One man pushed the last peggie on the balcony off and he grabbed a turret, shooting at other peggies still on top of the hanger. Anna May could see a familiar green light as Grace took down peggies from a nearby snipers nest and, as she watched, Peaches came bounding out of the ranch, her maw red with blood, and tackled another peggie. The more Anna May watched the fight, the less peggies she could see still standing.

Mary May had gotten out of the car and was yelling for her attention.

“We got it from here!” She said, “Go get John, don’t let him escape!”

Anna May gave a nod and got down, making her way to the hanger where the plain gray plane was waiting for her. As she sat down, her radio went off. She picked it up, expecting to hear John again.

“Hey, Deputy,” Nick’s voice went through. Anna May gasped.

“Nick!” She said, “How's the pastor, and Kim-“

“They’re fine, we got back to my hanger,” Nick interrupted, “But listen, I’m coming up there to fight that bastard with you-“

“Wha- Nick no, not after what he did to you!” 

“That's why I need to do it!” Nick insisted, “I’m not letting that bully get away with what he did! You need help to take him down!”

He was right. Even though she has been in the plane for a whole minute now, she still hasn’t started it. If she could spit on John Seed right now, she would. She should have figured he’d use her own fear of heights against her.

“Okay, fine,” she said, “Just hurry, he already took off.”

“I’ll see you up there, partner,” Nick said, and he was gone. Anna May took a deep breath and started up the plane, steering it out of the hanger and onto the airstrip. The plane went faster and faster, and soon it was airbound, climbing into the sky until Anna May couldn’t even see the mountains next to her anymore. She took slow breaths, focusing on not panicking, trying to stop the trembling in her hands. She flew Nick's plane easy enough before, this should be a piece of cake.

Or it would be if she didn’t have one ace pilot hunting her down from his own plane, she thought as she felt her own plane shake horribly, John Seed flying so close that she almost lost control, but she quickly steadied herself.

Carmina appeared as a yellow dot in the distance and soon all three of them were flying around each other.

“Nick Rye, really, after what I told you-“

“Fuck you!” Nick interrupted John.

“You’re going to throw Kim and your child’s opportunity for salvation away, just like that!? And I thought that you couldn’t be even more selfish!”

“You’re losing, John!” Anna May said, “Just stand down, nobody else needs to die!”

“The only ones who are going to be dying today are you and Nick Rye, Wrath,” John growled, and Anna May watched as Affirmation turned, John aiming the plane in her direction. She pushed the wheel forward and dived, squeezing her eyes shut as the plane began to fall, then quickly opening them when she heard Affirmation zoom by above her.

“We’re sending you straight to hell where you belong!” Nick yelled through the radio.

“I like to see you try,” John replied. Anna May pulled the wheel towards her, gaining altitude. She turned her head, trying to see John, then heard the sound of the gun going off followed by something clattering against the side of the plane.

“He’s behind you, Dep!” Nick yelled. Anna May gritted her teeth and dived again, turning in her seat to see Affirmation following after her. She cursed under her breath, urging the plane to now fly upwards again and began to turn, attempting to get behind John.

“What are you going to do, Wrath, we can’t keep playing cat and mouse forever!” John yelled, “You have to choose-!”

Carmina flew past Anna May towards John, the sound of the machine gun Nick had attached to that plane going off as Nick attempted to shoot John out of the sky. Anna May could hear John curse as he swerved, attempting to get away from Nick.

This was all she needed to get behind John and away from his own weapons. He was flying away from them, attempting to put some distance between them, but she was catching up. She was just some meters away from him when she pressed the buttons on the steering wheel, using her own plane's guns on their old owner.

One of the wings to Affirmation was now smoking, the plane wobbling in the sky as the engine worked harder to keep the plane in the air. Nick flew by and shot at him more and the wing on Affirmation blew up, causing it to start spinning out of control towards the ground.

“I’m going to cr-!“ John’s voice cut in and out of the radio. Anna May could see the plane disappear into the trees below, black smoke rising from the forest marking where Affirmation landed.

“Still-,” John’s voice came through then cut out again, “Brothers-... Bad landi-... We will face the Collapse together. Wait for me-...”

“I’m going after him!” Anna May called Nick. She could feel a horrible feeling in her gut, realizing exactly what she and Nick just did now weighing down on her.

“I’m going to see if the others are fine!” Nick said, “Be careful, Dep!”

And he was gone, no concern for the now crashed John Seed below them. Anna May dived down closer to the ground, looking for a nearby place to land.

As she flew over the crop circle, not too far from where John crashed, she could see a long stretch of straight road with nothing blocking it. She regripped the steering wheel. It was going to be a dangerous landing, but it was close to John.

Anna May gently eased the plane down between the woods on both sides of the road and soon she was driving down the road, the plane safely on the ground. She managed to stop the plane before she reached a place where the road did turn and got out of the vehicle, scanning the sky for smoke. 

She had to turn around a few times, but she finally found it, a distant, large black cloud that rose high into the sky. Anna May began to run to it, ignoring the trembling in her legs, and reached the woods, leaving the road far behind her.

The forest rose in an uphill slope as, at some points, Anna May was practically climbing through the thick brush to reach the plane. Branches cut into her as she shoved the foliage out of her way, but her pace did not slow down. Her frequent hikes through the Whitetails were paying off, she thought, as she managed to get to the top of the slope with ease.

It still took Anna May a while to reach the crash site. Affirmation was completely aflame by the time she got there. Dark smoke covered the woods and Anna May raised a hand to her mouth, coughing as she tried to breath through the thick smoke.

“JOHN!?” Anna May screamed.

The trunk of a tree exploded right next to her as someone shot a gun in her direction. She briefly felt relieved before that was replaced with anger. She turned around and ran, dodging through the trees as more gunfire went off behind her. 

Anna May passed by a particularly thick tree and hid behind the trunk, catching her breath as, slowly, footsteps approached her location, the sound of crunching leaves growing louder and louder with each footfall.

“Come out, come out, Wrathy,” John said, the light tone in his voice cut off with a deep, horrible cough.

“This is how you wanted it this whole time, isn’t it?” he said when he was done “When you refuse to face your past, you let your wrath take over! Now, I have to be the exterminator and remove all of the wrath you have infected this valley with, starting with the source! I could have helped you get closure Anna May! I could have set you free from your sin!” Anna May can hear him pass the tree where she was hiding.

“Come out!” John yelled, stopping to scan the tree line ahead of him. Anna May watched him, the anger from earlier now being met with despair. She finally sighed and stepped out from behind the tree, both hands raised. John quickly turned to face her, his face furious as he raised his gun at her.

“I don’t want us to fight anymore, John,” Anna May said, surprised that her voice was calm and steady. She certainly didn’t feel calm, she was so angry, she wouldn’t be surprised if John could tell. She tried to take slow breaths, just to calm herself down enough to have an actual conversation with John Seed.

He looked beside himself, all of that bravado he had at the church now gone. His face was covered with dirt and blood. With a twinge of guilt, Anna May noticed the bloody bandage that was attached to the side of his head. He had put on his trench coat, but that too was covered in dirt. John looked like he was ready to fall over, but he held himself up as he stared at Anna May, absolute fury on his face as he raised his gun at her.

“Now you don’t want to fight?” John said, “After everything you have done, you think now is the best time to call a truce?!”

“John, you lost!” Anna May insisted, “Eden’s Gate is gone from both your ranch and from Falls End, again! Just stop the fighting and let the people you took go!”

“You’re not in the position to be making requests, Wrath,” John said, raising the rifle a little higher, as if to prove his point.

“I’m trying to save your life,” Anna May said. That caused him to laugh, letting himself drop the gun just a little bit, that laughter now mixed in with more coughing.

“Save me!?” John said incredulously, “You want to save me? It’s too late to save me from anything! Tell me, how did you think shooting me at the church, or out of the sky, was going to save me?”

“I didn’t mean to shoot you at the church,” Anna May admitted.

“ _Liar_ ,” John hissed.

“I’m telling the truth John!” Anna May said, holding her ground when John raised his rifle again. She stared him down, refusing to take her eyes off of him.

“How would I know that?” John said, “The time to ask for peace was months ago, back when my brother graciously gave you the chance to leave, but instead you took him, and for what? For duty? Because it’s your job? Or-,” at this John began to cough again.

“-because you wanted to punish me, when everything has been your fault from the start!” He finished. Anna My stared flabbergasted at him.

“John, I arrested Joseph because he had a warrant, you should know what that means,” Anna May said. John gave a snort. 

“I’m not trying to hurt you like you seem to think I am,” Anna May continued, “Whatever your problem with me is, you need to talk to me, like before. Let’s talk, no bullshit this time.”

“Is that what you think everything I have been trying to tell you is?” John said, “You still don’t get it? This all was never about what Joseph wanted. I wanted you to join us! I wanted you to be saved and join us in paradise, I was hoping you would finally see what your actions were doing to people and help us save everyone! But you had to go and start all of this because- because you never cared!”

John took another step forward.

“Tell me, Wrath, what is it that you wanted,” John asked, “What was the point of all of this, I very much would like to know.”

“To stop Eden’s Gate from killing people, John,” Anna May said, and John started coughing.

“I told you before,” he said through his coughing, “-it always- _isn’t_ about Eden’s Gate! I am talking about us!”

“Wh-what?” 

John started to laugh then jabbed the rifle at her, his laughter being broken by a horrible cough he was quick to stifle.

“Tell me, how long were you waiting for this?” John asked, “Joseph knew you were trying to take advantage of me, what you were planning, waiting to strike and take everything from me, from my family, and here you are, just as he said.”

John’s voice quivered at those last few words and he swallowed, giving a few quiet coughs before he continued.

“I had so foolishly thought that I could get an answer about your true intentions, let you admit what kind of person you are at your own will. But you don’t care, not for what we’re trying to do and not for me, not for-“ John stopped himself, a hurt look crossed his face and he shook his head before he glared at Anna May.

“And here I am. _You made me into this_. All I'm asking for is for the truth, but you stand there and tell me I’m wrong!” John yelled at her, stifling another cough, “Go on, tell me again that I’m wrong! Tell me how all of this has been my fault this whole time!”

John began to laugh again as Anna May dropped her arms to her sides. 

“Why would I do that to you?” Anna May asked.

“You tell me,” John asked, “Joseph told me, said you were hiding something, why else would you stay around, invest so much time into me, when your friends hate the Project so much. There was something you wanted from me, so what is it, what did you use me for? Why do you hate my family so much- so much you had to go and- and confuse me, for what? What was the plan?” 

“I didn’t use you for anything,” Anna May said.

“I want the tru-“ John began, but Anna May cut him off.

“I’m not lying!” She insisted, “Is this what this has been about this whole time?”

“Why else have you been doing all of this, huh?” He asked, “Digging around into my past, talking to my family behind my back, all the while going along and ruining everything my family has been building for years, for what?!”

“Damn it, John, it’s because I fucking care about you and the rest of the people living in this whole county!” Anna May yelled. John raised his rifle even more at that.

“I never wanted to hurt you, but what the hell am I supposed to do when your family is kidnapping and hurting my friends!?” Anna My asked, “You were my best friend, John, I loved you! I wanted things to have gone back to as they have before, but you left me no choice!”

“I gave you countless choices!” John said, taking another step closer towards her. He was almost close enough to touch her with his rifle.

“All you had to do was say Yes, accept the word of the Father into your heart, and everything could have gone back to how it all was before!” John said, “But you wreaked havoc! You don’t even know what is coming, but Joseph does, and he prepared us for it! We had a plan! But you’re doing exactly what he said you’re going to do, and now look, we are on the brink!”

“The only thing we’re on the brink of is for you about to make a terrible mistake,” Anna May said. John looked confused for a moment.

“I do not know what you mean,” he said.

“I’m not saying Yes,” Anna May looked down at the tattoo on her chest, then back up at John.

“I’m tired,” Anna May said, “Of the killing and of what your family is doing. I want it to end.”

“Then just say Yes! Convince your followers to join us and we will let those who are worthy cross into New Eden with us!”

“No.”

“Then I’ll kill you,” John said.

“Go ahead,” Anna May replied.

John opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, his expression turned into something unreadable.

“What?” He finally said, stunned.

“Go ahead. I’m not going to kill you and I’m not saying Yes. I’m not giving you a fake apology I don't mean for something I didn’t do, not after everything you have been doing. You have a gun, I don’t-“ at this, Anna May took out the pistol, causing John to take a step back, but she tossed it to the side, far enough away that if she wanted it again, then she would have to run to grab it before John kills her, “-I’m at your mercy. If I’m going to end the world, then now's your chance to stop it. Get your brother’s approval and set yourself free. I’m waiting.”

Anna May stood there, hands raised, feet planted firmly on the ground as she waited for John’s response. He looked surprised, dropping the rifle completely to gwack at Anna May. Then he raised the gun back up at her, pointing it straight at her chest, right where ‘Wrath’ was written.

And they stood like that for a while, each second lasting for an eternity to her as Anna May waited for John to shoot, making herself not think about her approaching death or how her friends are going to react once they find out what John’s about to do.

But to her surprise, he lowered the gun again, that perplex, angry look on his face coming back. His face turned red and, for a moment, Anna May thought he was going to lunge for her.

_“Fuck!_ ” He yelled and, to her surprise, he turned and threw the rifle off to the side where she had thrown hers. And they both were unarmed, John standing there breathing heavily as Anna May gave a shuddering sob. Her legs felt weak, almost ready to collapse, but she managed to stay standing, just to watch John turn back around to face her.

“He is not going to forgive me for this,” John said. Something passed over on his face and all of the anger was gone, replaced by a devastated look, the fight leaving him as his confidence from before seemed to deteriorate before Anna May’s eyes.

“All you had to do was say Yes,” he said, now almost pleading with her, “And it would have been alright. It would have made Joseph happy, but instead, you- you-“

The anger was back and John lifted a hand up towards her, pointing at her.

“-Very telling, you using your own life, against _me-_ “ John began to cough once more, a horrible, shuddering cough that went on for longer than any of the ones from before. Anna May approached him and reached out to hold him and keep him from falling over. John flinched under her touch, but didn’t try to pull himself away when Anna May grabbed him.

“We need to get you help,” Anna May said, “You’re hurt-“

“And where will we go? Back to your Resistance?” Anna May felt relieved when John didn’t protest, but the accusatory tone followed by the look he threw at her made her feel horrible. 

She pressed her lips together and thought. She needed to find a place to get help for the both of them. They are covered in blood, John is injured, and Anna May needs to take care of this tattoo before an infection settles in. She couldn’t bring him back to Falls End, not after everything that has been happening, but there was almost nowhere she could take him where either Resistance or Eden’s Gate will find him. She can’t risk John going back to the cult, but she can’t let them know that he’s still alive either. She still needs his key to rescue Hudson from John’s silo too. There's only one person who she could trust to keep John hidden, although how willing he would be to help her with something as abnormal as _this_ she wasn’t sure.

“No,” Anna May said, “I’m going to tell them that I killed you.”

“Then where are we going?”

“To someone who can help the both of us,” Anna May replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a doozy and it’s not done yet cause theres still a good chunk of the rest of Holland Valley’s story we have to go through, but I can confidently say we are now at the point of the story where the “No One Dies” part of this AU really kicks in XD


	11. Chapter 11

“Absolutely not, Deputy.”

“Dutch, _please-_ “

“Don’t ‘Dutch please’ me, you just brought a fucking Seed into my home!”

“He’s hurt!”

“Why should I care!?” Dutch shook his head at Anna May, who was busy looking around on the nearby cabinet for a med kit. John was sitting on a cot next to her, seemingly inattentive to the argument that was happening next to him.

It took a good while for Anna May and John Seed to reach Dutch’s bunker. Anna May couldn’t take John on the plane, not when the only real airfields around were Nick’s and John’s, both being places with high Resistance activity. They would be caught before they even got close to a field. So they had to walk some of the way, wandering lost in the woods, Anna May half carrying John most of the time.

Besides his head injury, Anna May wasn’t sure how hurt John really was, and he wasn’t making any effort to tell her. He was mostly quiet, the horrible cough he had fading the farther they got away from the plane wreck, but now John seemed to have gone silent, not even making a comment about their situation, at least, not until Anna May had managed to find them a truck.

It was parked by the road, the bodies of two peggies were right next to the abandoned vehicle. John remained quiet, nor did he say anything when Anna May took the keys off of one of the corpses, just silently got in the car with her. 

It didn’t take long for them to reach Dutch’s bunker. During the car ride, John attempted, a few times, to say something to her, but whatever sentences he tried to make were incomplete, John seemingly giving up on finishing his sentence and going back to staring out the window before he would try to speak to Anna May again.

She kept an eye on him, a morbid kind of curiosity setting in as she saw John’s current state. He almost seemed to be disappearing into himself, his eyes were glazed over and unfocused, only clearing when he attempted to communicate his thoughts to Anna May. She had never seen him like this before; every argument and confrontation that she had with him, John Seed was always confident, approaching each situation like he already knew the outcome of whatever fight they were going to get into. This time, however, John looked lost, whatever plan he originally had did not work and now he seemingly has given up.

She wanted to talk to him in the car, but she didn’t know what to say, other than anything that could possibly spark another argument. John looked battered and beat, both from their fight and the hike afterwards, but if he was more injured than from what she was seeing, he wasn’t telling her. He wasn’t the only one.

Anna May was covered in many cuts from her run, then hike, through the woods. Her clothes were bloody and torn, she had multiple bruises on her face from where the peggies had hit her, and the pain from the Wrath tattoo on her chest had slowly begun to intensify, until it was a stinging ache, like a new sunburn. She needed to get herself cleaned up, but watching Dutch now, she doesn’t even know if he will let her even fix herself.

Dutch looked beside himself with anger, watching from the doorway of the infirmary as Anna May finally found what she was looking for. She turned towards him.

“I thought you were smart, kid. Smarter than this,” Dutch gestured at John, “Just looking at you right now, seems like he already put you through hell. What does the pastor think about this? Or Mary May, or hell, even Nick Rye! They can’t be happy with letting John Seed off like this as well!”

“They don’t even know he’s alive,” Anna May replied, earning a shake of the head from Dutch, “I plan on telling them that I killed John, I just haven't yet.”

Dutch grimaced and gave John a glare.

“Kid, can you come outside a minute, without your _friend,_ ” Dutch said the last word as a growl and left without waiting for an answer from Anna May. She turned to John.

“I’ll be right back,” she said to him. He made an unditernishable noise in the back of his throat. Anna May left the infirmary and found Dutch standing a small distance away from her down the hall.

“This is a horrible idea, kid,” Dutch said, “I know you two were close once, but you can’t be fucking serious about putting a broken friendship above this fight and ignore the fact that he’s been kidnapping and killing people!? John Seed isn’t an innocent man!”

“Do I look like an idiot?” Anna May hissed back, “I know he’s not, you weren't there when he carved Nick and Pastor Jerome like turkeys. He’s been threatening to hurt Hudson more than he’s already had for weeks now, and I don’t plan on forgiving him for any of it!”

“Then what is the _plan?_ What is the point of all of this?”

“Damn it, I don’t know!” Anna May said, raising her voice, “Do you think I don’t know how easy it would be for me to just end it, go back in there and shoot him and be done with it? You don’t understand, Dutch, I can’t kill him, not after all of the shit Joseph has been feeding him. I’m not playing the game he’s made us all get into!”

“And what about everyone else who has suffered because of him? They’re not going to forgive you when they find out!” Dutch yelled back, “There are people in Falls End who lost whole families to the Seeds, and they’re going to want to see that entire family put in the ground! Nobody thinks not wanting to prove Joseph Seed right is a good excuse!”

“Dutch, I’m not killing him, I’ve made up my mind,” Anna May said. Dutch gave her a long stare then threw his hands up.

“Fine,” he said, “If that's what you want, then _fine_ , but I am not including myself in this.”

“Can he at least stay here until I rescue Hudson? I still haven't gotten his key from him,” Anna May asked.

“Why not. Go for it, shoot, maybe make a room up for him, let him decorate it,” Dutch said sarcastically. Anna May sighed then turned around, getting back to the infirmary. She was tired, ready to fall over after the busy day she has had, and still will be having. But she was surprised to see that John wasn’t staring at the floor anymore, but up at her, more focused than he was earlier.

Anna May walked over to the cabinet and grabbed a water bottle and the med kit again, then approached John.

“I have to clean that wound,” Anna May said, tapping the side of her head. John scooted over and she sat down next to him, looking at the bandage taped to his head. Blood was soaked through it, but Anna May was hoping the bleeding stopped. Well, she wasn’t going to be sure as long as it was there.

She gently peeled it off, revealing the wound. Part of John’s ear was missing, and there was a gash on his head, but that wound didn’t look too deep.

“You might be able to hide the scar with your hair, but your ear isn’t going to be the same again,” Anna May winced as she soaked a cloth in water, “I’m really sorry I did that, I didn’t mean to pull the trigger.”

“Then what did you mean to do?”

Anna May was relieved when John spoke, the most coherent thing he said since she got him to stand down. She raised the cloth and began to wipe at the wound gently, John flinching as it made contact with the cut.

“I wanted to try and scare you off, maybe make a dash out of the church,” Anna May said, “The peggie grabbed my hand and I squeezed the trigger. Again, I’m really sorry.”

John made no reply and Anna May continued to work. She placed new bandages over the wound then looked up and down at him.

“We look like shit,” she said, trying to lighten the mood, just anything to make the both of them feel a little better about this situation. John gave her a glance but didn’t say anything. 

“Are you hurt anywhere else? You didn’t break any bones in that crash?”

“No. I don’t think so,” John looked down at himself, briefly lifting a hand to his chest, where the exposed scars on him are, before lowering it back to his lap again.

“Are you lying?” Anna May asked. John shook his head, then grimaced.

“I am aching all over, I smell like dirt and gasoline, and I am missing half of my ear,” he said, “But in most manners of speaking, I am fine.”

That makes one of them. Anna May nodded then gave a sigh.

“John, you know I need to get into the bunker,” Anna May said.

“You want to ‘save’ Hudson,” John said. He gave her a look, then reached up to his chest, grabbing the cord to the key he had wrapped around his neck. He closed his eyes then took a deep breath, snapping the necklace as he pulled it off and held it out to Anna May, dropping it in her hands.

“Take it. I figure you would have found some way to guilt me into giving it to you anyway,” he said. Anna May stared at him.

“Are you fine, being here?” She asked. He huffed.

“No, I’m not. You know what I want,” John gave her a glare, “But I’ll play your game. Consider me _behaved_ until you return.”

“John-“

“Just leave me alone,” he said. Anna May felt a horrible lurch in her gut when he turned away from her, purposefully looking away from the Deputy. She stood up.

“I’ll be back, I promise,” Anna May said. He made no reply as she left the room.

Dutch was in his office, looking at the monitors around in the room. He didn’t give Anna May a glance as she walked in.

“So what are you going to do now? Try and get Faith to turncoat too? Jacob as well?” He asked.

“Dutch- I’m sorry!” Anna May said. He turned back to face her.

“Stop doing that!” He said, “You can’t expect a sorry to make all of this better!”

“Then what am I supposed to say?” Anna May asked, “I get it, I fucked up, but I don’t regret it! I’m not going to let myself stoop down to their level-“

“And letting a murderer go scott free is the way to go?” Dutch asked.

“John’s probably going to go to jail after all of this, Dutch,” Anna May said. Dutch scoffed.

“Unless you don’t believe he deserves that too,” He said.

“I can’t stay and continue arguing about this,” Anna May said wearily, “I have to tell the others that John isn’t gonna bother them anymore and go rescue Hudson and the others. Can you just please watch him until I get back.”

“I already told you kid, he can say, but if he tries anything, well, don’t be surprised if you come back and find a corpse,” Dutch said, “You and I will be having a long talk when you get back, you hear me?”

“I understand,” Anna May said, “Thanks, Dutch.”

Dutch didn’t reply to her and she left, making her way to the bathroom and opened the door, finding the sink and mirror. She grabbed a cloth and got it wet, wincing as she raised it to wipe at her chest. She stared at the new tattoo, the brand new ink clear as day on her and sighed. She’ll have to find someone who knows how to remove tattoos, until then, she’ll have to make sure it doesn’t get infected.

Anna May tried to clean herself up as best as she could. Her tank top was going to have to get thrown out, the fabric was too bloody and torn. So were her pants. She sighed, she’ll find new clothes once she saves Hudson, but she can’t spend much longer here, not while everyone doesn’t know what's going on.

Anna May left the bunker, her radio immediately going off as soon as she left, Mary May calling her frantically.

“Hey, I’m here,” Anna May said.

“Jesus Christ, Deputy, you gave everyone in Falls End a heart attack,” Mary May said.

“Sorry, I had some stuff to deal with,” Anna May said.

“And John Seed?” Mary May asked.

“He’s dead,” Anna May said, already feeling guilty for having to lie. She could hear Mary May give a sigh of relief.

“Listen,” Anna May continued, “I have John’s key. I’m about to go to Black Horse Peak and get Hudson. Can you and the others meet me there and help us get everyone else out?”

“Will do,” Mary May said, “Thank you, Deputy. You did everyone in this valley a huge service killing that fucker.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you soon,” Anna May said, then shut the radio off. She made her way to her car and got in, laying her head on the steering wheel for a moment and squeezed her eyes shut. Then, she put the keys into the ignition, starting the car and made her way to where the silo is.

——————

“Lockdown initiated.”

The large metal door behind Anna May closed with a hiss, officially trapping her underground with the rest of the peggies and prisoners John has been collecting. Anna May stayed close to the wall, a new rifle clutched in her hand, as she made her way through the metal halls. Many peggies were running by, frantically talking to each other. Anna May has only been able to hear pieces of their conversations, but one thing was clear; Eden’s Gate now believes John Seed to be dead. 

That guilt, surprisingly, grew worse, but Anna May knew it was temporary, although she has to admit, there was a heavy truth to Dutch’s words. John wasn’t going to get to leave without repercussions, although what exactly to do with him until this whole thing was over, Anna May certainly didn’t know.

She would have spent more time thinking about it if she wasn’t in the middle of saving Hudson. She didn’t know where John would have kept her, and she doubted he would have been as willing to tell her as he was with giving her his key. He must have thought she would have figured it out, or die trying.

She was walking down a set of stairs with orange lights and had a heavy feeling that she was close. The walls were painted with different sins and in the current lighting, the stairwell had a very sinister look, but not as sinister as the room it led to.

Dead bodies wrapped in plastic hung from the walls and ceiling of this room, multiple desks with bloody tools spreaded across it. There were a few dead peggies sitting in a couple of chairs, one had a picture of Joseph Seed on her lap. Anna May approached it cautiously, wondering what exactly the purpose of this served, when someone tackled her from the side, knocking her off her feet.

Anna May fell to the floor and lifted her hands up as Hudson tried to stab her with a large, sharp, swatch of metal in her hand.

“Joey!” Anna May yelled out, but she wasn’t listening to her. Hudson had both hands on the makeshift knife, putting her weight into it, and Anna May was having difficulty pushing it off of her. The tip of the knife was hovering dangerously above her eyes, and for a moment, Anna May thought Hudson may kill her, then a look of surprise appeared on her face and she stopped trying to stab her.

“Rook?” She said, confused, then she quickly got off of Anna May. Anna May sat up, reaching out a hand towards Hudson, but she was making her way to her feet. Anna May stood up with her.

“I- I thought you had left,” Hudson said, “The peggies were going crazy, saying someone died-“

“John Seed is dead,” Anna May replied, wincing when Hudson gave her a surprised look.

“John is dead?” Hudson said, dumbfounded. Anna May paused, then nodded.

“He’s really dead,” she repeated. She saw the photo of Joseph on the dead peggie and walked to it, picking it up to stare down at it, then quickly turning to throw it on the ground. She turned back to Anna May, that handmade knife pointing down at the shattered frame of the Father.

“It’s because of that fucker the peggies are going nuts now, isn’t it?” She said, “He wants to lock us down here, and I- I didn’t think I’d get out-!”

Anna May watched as Hudson fell to her knees , right next to the photo. Hudson was still talking as Anna May knelt next to her.

“He would come down here and watch us,” she said, “He wouldn’t say anything, even while we were begging for him to do something! He’d just fucking _watch!_ ”

Hudson gave a bitter laugh, then bowed her head, tossing the broken photo aside. Anna May watched her, an incredible sadness for Hudson and anger at both John and Joseph building in her. She had an impulsive thought, just for a moment, where all she wanted to do was hold Hudson, to tell her everything will be alright, even if her words will only make her temporarily feel better, but instead, Anna May reached out a hand, resting it gently on Hudson’s shoulder and hoped that she understood. Hudson sighed, then perked up, giving Anna May a wide eyed look.

“The others,” she said, “I was trapped with other people-“

“We’re getting all of them out,” Anna May said. Hudson gave her a long stare, then a nod, her face more solemn.

“We need to move then,” she said, standing up, “There's a control room above us. I can get you access to all of the other parts of the silo, and to an escape route, but I’ll need you to destroy their servers and unlock the jail doors.”

“Will do. Just tell me where to go and I will get it done,” Anna May reached into her back pocket and pulled out Pastor Jerome's handgun, handing it to Hudson.

“Make sure you give that back to the Pastor when you see him,” Anna May said, “That's his.”

Hudson nodded and they began to move, heading up the stairs back into the room with monitors Anna May had spent so much time hiding in beforehand.

Hudson was checking some things on the screens, pressing buttons, as Anna May kept watch from the doorway. Hudson gave her a nod.

“They’re ready,” she said, “Be careful, Rook.”

“I will,” Anna May promised, then took off down the bunker hall.

There were a couple of peggies there, all of them looked in her direction when she appeared. Anna May dived behind some boxes as they began to shoot at her.

“You killed John Seed!” One of them yelled. Anna May looked around and noticed a box next to her, a couple of grenades were stacked on top of boxes of ammunition. She grabbed one and pulled the pin, throwing the explosive over the box at the peggies on the other side. One screamed as it hit the floor and Anna May watched the body of a peggie fly by her. There was a rumbling when the explosive went off and when Anna May stood up, she could see damage to the bunkers walls. She’ll have to avoid doing that again in the future.

Anna May continued her way through the bunker and found a jail cell. A large lever was on the side and she pulled it, opening the door to reveal multiple surprised people in dirty white clothes sitting in the cell.

“Get out!” Anna May yelled, “We’re leaving!”

Many of the people looked relieved, jumping to their feet as they made their way out of the cell. Anna May waved them down the hall, towards the entrance of the silo. A few of the prisoners picked up the dead peggies weapons and led the way forward.

There were more cells along this stretch of hallway, more prisoners inside each one. Anna May opened the door to the last one and was waving people in the direction the others went when Hudson called her again.

“You’re doing great, Rook!” Hudson said.

“Thanks! When can we burn this place down?” Anna May asked.

“Soon, hopefully,” Hudson said, “Most of the doors have closed, we’ll need to destroy the silo’s system in order to get everyone else out. That’ll crumble this whole fucking place down.

“You just tell me where to go and I’ll do it,” Anna May said.

“Alright,” Hudson said. She was silent for a moment, then she cursed.

“There's not many options, unless you fancy a bit of climbing,” Hudson said. Anna May gave a sigh.

“I already had to fly a plane today, so I’ll consider this another step in my exposure therapy,” Anna May said sarcastically, getting a laugh from Hudson.

“Then head to the missle silo,” Hudson said. 

“Roger that.”

Anna May reached one of the only still opened doors and looked inside. The silo was partially filled with water, getting a sigh of relief from Anna May. As she looked up towards the top of the silo, she could see many folded up ledges above her. As she watched, the ones closest to her began to lower, just enough so she could climb on.

“I’ll have to do this one by one, so hold on,” Hudson said.

Anna May continued to climb and wait, watching the entrances above her. She made it to one and walked though, looking around at the empty hall.

“There should be a server room nearby,” Hudson said, “Destroy the servers in there, and the rest of us should be able to get out.”

“I am on it,” Anna May said, then turned into a big computer room. The servers were huge, colorful things that took up much of the room's space. Anna May looked around, unsure of how she was going to destroy everything with her one gun, then turned around and looked at the hallway she was in.

There were many boxes stacked along the walls of the hall. Anna May looked through a couple until she found what she was looking for; more explosives.

Anna May brought them to the computer room and set a few up, placing them by as many servers as she could, then ran to the other hall. She threw a final grenade into the room and began to run. In a few seconds, the room exploded, causing alarms to go off all over the silo.

“We need to leave, Rook!” Hudson said, “Everythings open, there's a launch hole down the hall where you’re at. Blow up as much shit as you can and get out of there!”

“You read my mind!” Anna May replied, and began to run.

There were already fires going on inside the bunker. A yelling peggie ran at her and Anna May raised her gun, the body falling past her as she continued to run, making it back to the silo and jumping onto another ledge.

A bullet flew past her and Anna May looked up. There were peggies at the entrance of the nearest doorway shooting down at her. Anna May ran along the ledges in the silo, taking a massive leap to get to a nearby ledge. The peggies continued to shoot, and it wasn’t until they paused to reload did Anna May turn and shoot at them, making one fall into the water below. 

The second peggie screamed and raised her gun, but an explosion coming from the doorway knocked her off of her feet, sending her falling into the water below. Anna May jumped up to another ledge and climbed up to a doorway, a different one from the currently on fire entrance.

This hallway was filled with green bliss containers. Anna May shot at one as more peggies appeared and knocked them off of their feet, the force of the minor explosion knocking them off balance.

Anna May didn’t even bother waiting around to see them stand up, she ran, jumping over the stunned peggies and up more stairs. A large room with massive doors on the ceiling was in front of her; this must be the place Hudson was talking about, but the doors were closed.

The peggies from earlier were making their way up the stairs to her and Anna May turned to shoot at then, driving them back a bit. She turned and ran further into the room, looking around.

There was a control station with a large yellow lever. Anna May pulled it and lights began to flash on the ceiling, a loud beeping accompanying the consistent evacuation message.

“If we’re to die down here then you’re coming with us, sinner!” One of the peggies yelled at her. Anna May jumped over the station and ducked as they began to shoot at her. Anna May stood and began to shoot back, ducking again when she was met with more bullets.

Anna May had to find the other switch or switches. She wasn’t sure how the door opened, but she didn’t have time to sit and speculate. The room was slowly filling with fire and if she had to take a guess, she didn’t have much time before the bunker blows up.

Anna May stood up and took more shots at the attacking peggies, killing one, and ran, looking around the room for another switch. She almost ran past one, having to do a double take to grab and pull the switch.

A peggie had run after her and tried to hit her with the butt of his rifle as she pulled the lever. She ducked and tackled the man, shoving him away from her. The silo entrance was now opening and Anna May could see the night sky through the hatch.

But it was opening too slowly. More fire was filling the room and Anna May began to cough as she breathed in the smoke. None of them had much time left, but the few remaining peggies were not concerned about anything but taking her down.

One peggie got caught in a particularly large swath of flames and he began to scream, waving an onfire arm as the flames began to cover him. Another one shot at Anna May but she killed them as they reloaded, falling next to their on fire comrade.

There was a whirring noise above her. Anna May looked up and saw a helicopter hovering above the silo hole. Anna May couldn’t see the driver, but she didn’t hesitate, pulling out her grapple and throwing it up to the helicopter, catching it on the machine. The helicopter began to fly, Anna May gripping the rope for dear life as she rose above and past the flames and out of the silo, flying over Black Horse Peak.

There was a loud boom, like thunder, as the silo exploded behind her. Anna May turned to watch a large orange cloud bloom behind her, signalling the end of the peggies' attempt to take shelter from the apocalypse in Holland Valley. Anna May looked down at the road below as they flew past the bridge. A large crowd of people were running down the slope, many Resistance members there greeting them. Anna May couldn’t tell if it was the peggies or the prisoners from where she is at, maybe both.

“I’m glad we got you out, Deputy,” Pastor Jerome said through the radio. Anna May gave a sigh of relief, then looked back up, realizing the helicopter she was on was Tulip. 

“Me and the Pastor are gonna fly us straight back to Falls End, you just hang on tightly, honey,” Adelaide said. Anna May would have replied back, if she wasn’t currently dangling hundreds of feet in the air. She tightened her grip on the rope and closed her eyes, avoiding looking down as they continued to fly. 

Falls End soon appeared in the distance, and in no time, they were there. Tulip gently lowered down over the nearby baseball field, the helicopter only landing when Anna May got a safe distance away. Adelaide and Pastor Jerome exited the helicopter and approached the Deputy.

“Looks like it was rough in there, huh?” Adelaide wrinkled her nose as she looked at Anna May’s bloody and torn appearance.

“I live nearby, I’ll get myself a change of clothes,” Anna May said.

“Good. Wear something nice, folks around here are going to want to party all night after what you did, if you’re up for it?” Adelaide gave Anna May a wink. She laughed.

“Yeah. A party sounds nice,” Anna May replied.

———————

By the time Anna May had showered and changed, the Resistance was back in Falls End, all of the vehicles loaded up with the prisoners from John’s bunker.

Anna May was now in an orange shirt, black pants, and gray jacket. Her old clothes were in the trash, any hope of salvaging them gone. Anna May was upset about that, that was her favorite outfit, but now it looks like she’ll have to find a replacement for them. Her new tattoo was barely covered by the shirt, a reminder to everyone on what had taken place in the town that afternoon.

But there wasn’t any need to think too much about what John did to her now. The people in Falls End were laughing, celebrating the end of John Seed’s reign in Holland Valley. Many people had come up to jokes and laugh with her, congratulating her for her victory and thanking her for saving them. Ted, bruised and bloodied but still alive, came by and personally thanked her for avenging the death of his friends for her before he was dragged away to get a much deserved beer. Kim and Nick were there, seated in a corner of the bar away from the more crowded areas where most folks were, Boomer at their feet, watching the people of Falls End partying in front of him with raised ears and the occasional wag of his tail.

Anna May tried her best to celebrate with them, but that guilt she's been feeling everytime the Baptist has been brought up has returned, reminding her that John was still alive and out there, maybe not as a threat anymore, but still there. A new kind of nervousness was creeping in as the party continued and Anna May was itching to leave, concerned for whatever could be happening right now at Dutch’s bunker.

Pastor Jerome must have noticed her change in behavior and had waved Anna May over to where he stood by the bar where he and Adelaide were talking, or rather, the pastor was while she was flirting. Not anymore, however. Adelaide had left, joining a group of men and women and talking about something that had all of them hollering in laughter. As Anna May reached the pastor, he held out something to her, it was Faith’s book.

“I thought you might want this back,” he said. Anna May grabbed the book and shook her head at it.

“I don’t know if I want this anymore, not after what John tried to make you do with it,” Anna May said.

“I’m glad he did. If it didn’t look like mine, he would have caught onto our plan,” Pastor Jerome said.

“Well, then I’ll keep it,” Anna May said. She began to leave when Pastor Jerome spoke.

“I know he was your friend, but you did the right thing, Deputy,” Pastor Jerome said. Anna May pressed her lips together.

“Did you think I wasted my time trying to get through to him?” Anna May asked.

“No,” Pastor Jerome said. Anna May was surprised.

“You saw something in John Seed you thought you could save. I don’t agree with it, but I wasn’t going to discourage you from trying,” Pastor Jerome continued, “John Seed was a selfish and vain man. I would never see eye to eye with him, but everyone deserves the opportunity to have second chances. It’s his fault he didn’t take yours.”

“I just wish everything worked out better,” Anna May said quietly. Pastor Jerome smiled.

“When I first saw you, you were a quiet girl. Then when this all started, you brought your own anger out on Eden’s Gate in the likes they have never seen,” Pastor Jerome said. He looked at the laughing group behind him and smiled.

“I didn’t know if you were a gift from heaven, or the beginning of our downfall. With your past, you could have been the latter,” Pastor Jerome shook his head at the thought, “But you brought on an inspiration to these people, a kind even Joseph Seed couldn’t give. I made a good choice, saving you from that van that night.”

“I- uh- thank you,” Anna May said. Although the pastor’s words were meant to be flattering, the guilt in Anna May’s gut twisted and she found herself unable to look him in the eye, instead taking to look around the party, finding anything that could distract her from her shame.

“But enough about that,” Pastor Jerome continued, “Tell me, how are you feeling?”

“Relieved, mainly,” Anna May said, “And sad, and…” 

She thought for a moment.

“Scared too,” Anna May admitted, “I still have Jacob, Joseph, and Faith to deal with. They’re not going to be happy with what happened. Who knows how they’ll take it.”

She had not thought about it, until that moment, but if she had to keep John’s survival a secret from everyone, that meant she had to keep it from the rest of the Seeds too. She felt a chill go up her spine at the thought.

“We’ll be prepared for whatever retaliation they choose to send to us, now that we don’t have to worry about John Seed anymore,” Mary May was there now, pushing a drink towards Pastor Jerome. She gave Anna May a warm smile.

“You did good, Rook,” Mary May continued, “John’s in the ground and you got everyone out. You’re a hero.”

Would she still call Anna May a hero if she found out what she did? She gave a strained smile to Mary May.

“Yeah. Hey, uhm, do you know where Hudson is? I haven't seen her since the silo-“ Anna May looked around and realized she actually hasn’t seen Hudson since she left her to save the rest of the prisoners. She felt an uneasy prickle on her neck that went away when Mary May pointed at the door.

“She’s outside,” she said, “She was up here earlier. I can get you another beer if you want to give it to her. Drinks are on me tonight.”

“Thanks,” Anna May said, relieved, as Mary May disappeared into the kitchen again and returned with two beers. Anna May grabbed them and turned towards the door, book tucked under one arm, and walked outside.

It was a clear night in Hope County. The air had a refreshing chill, much welcomed after the heat from the fires in the silo. It was quiet too, a blissful quiet that was only broken by the party going on in the Spread Eagle at that moment.

Hudson sat in a nearby chair on the porch, looking out at the distant farms peeking between the few houses across the street. She looked over at Anna May who stood there, staring at her, before realizing that maybe she was making the situation awkward.

“Hey, I, uh, got us drinks!” Anna May said.

“Thanks, I could use a beer,” Hudson said, reaching up at the bottle Anna May handed to her. Anna May took a seat in a chair next to her.

“So, why are you out here?” Anna May asked, “There's a whole party going on inside.”

“I’ve been stuck underground for a while,” Hudson said, “I needed some fresh air.”

“Oh, right,” Anna May said, feeling her face burn up. There was an awkward silence as Anna May sat and started picking at the label on her drink, pausing only to take a sip from it. Hudson took a long drink from hers then gave Anna My a side glance.

“So, you killed John,” Hudson said.

“Yeah, I did,” Anna May said, uncomfortably.

“I wish it could have been me,” Hudson said, “After everything he did…”

Hudson took another drink as Anna May watched her, that guilt gnawing at her gut worse than before.

“I’m sorry!” Anna May blurted out. Hudson gave her a puzzled look.

“What?”

“Back at the silo, I tried to get you out of that room you and John were in- but the silo was filling up with Bliss. I really wanted to, but if I stayed I could have died,” Anna May had peeled a long strip of paper off the bottle and held it crumpled in her hand, gripping the trash tightly. Hudson was staring at her.

“A lot of what you were going through down there was my fault,” Anna May continued, “John kept threatening me saying he was going to hurt you more if I didn’t atone. I didn’t listen to him and thought that when he called me earlier today, it was going to be because of that. And he took you specifically, because he knew that I am in l-“

“Rook, stop that,” Hudson said with so much vigor in her voice, Anna May had to stop, mouth agape, mid confession.

“The only one to blame for this is John Seed and the rest of his shit family, not you,” Hudson continued, “ _What happened is not your fault._ It never was, and I don’t blame you for any of it.”

Anna May thought it should be, but Hudson was smiling at her now.

“You did a good job out there,” Hudson said, “After everything you saw going on down in the silo, I would have thought you’d make a run for it and leave the county, but you didn’t. A lot of people were saved and you seem to have a handle on things. Not bad for someone who only just joined the force.”

“Th-Thank you,” Anna May said. She could feel her face growing warm again, now finding herself unable to think of anything else to say. She took another drink from her beer.

“You really took charge of things since I was gone, huh? Keep doing it. This county could use more people like you,” Hudson said. Anna May felt her heart leap and she returned Hudson’s smile, ready to respond back, but her reply was interrupted when a man stepped out the door. He held it open, pointing back inside.

“The cults on the TV,” he said, “You two have got to see this.”

“Oh great, what now,” Hudson said wearily, getting up. Anna May followed suit, feeling confused, but worse so, feeling the slowly approaching loom of dread as she made her way back inside the Spread Eagle with Hudson behind her. What could the cult be doing now?

There was an old TV placed on a nearby table. Some people were around it, watching it, but most were ignoring the television, continuing the party as if Eden’s Gate was not broadcasting across the county right now.

The TV showed Joseph talking in a dark room lit by a purple light. Anna May was having a hard time hearing him over all the noise, but he looked sad, almost. Near the end of the clip, he would glare up at the camera, then the video would loop, repeating the same pattern of the sad, then angry, speech.

“This fucker couldn’t even put a shirt on for his own brother’s eulogy,” the man from earlier laughed. 

“Is that what this is?” Anna May asked. The guy snorted.

“Yeah. Just Joseph Seed trying to make it seem like the cult still has a hold on things,” the man said, “He didn’t have a lot of nice things to say about John. Wondered if he actually gave a shit about him at all.”

“ _Excuse me?_ ”Anna May said. Hudson gave her a look and Anna May cleared her throat.

“Sorry, that's just really weird,” she said. Hudson watched the TV a bit more than shook her head, her lip curled up in disgust.

“I’m not surprised,” she said, “John was always trying to impress that asshole. Trying to make up for something whenever you would blow up his shit. I don’t know what you did to make him so uptight, but whatever it was only seemed to make him more disturbed by the day. Funny to see none of his efforts worked in his favor.”

Hudson reached over and turned the TV off, the rest of the small crowd now leaving as the peggies new commercial was gone, but Anna May stayed standing there, staring at her reflection on the blank screen. It was so soon after the plane crash, she didn’t think Joseph would have made an eulogy before looking for the body, much less televise it. Have Dutch and John seen it?

“Hey, are you okay?” Hudson asked. Anna May tore her eyes from the television and gave Hudson a forced smile.

“Yeah. I’m just tired after everything that happened today, I think I’m going to leave early, go check up on a couple of things, get some sleep. Where do you plan on going?”

“I’m going to stay and help clean the town,” Hudson replied.

“I can help with that too.”

“What about the Sheriff? And Pratt and the Marshal? What happened to them?” Hudson asked.

“Whitehorse and Burke are fine. They’re at the Hope County Prison,” Anna May explained, “Faith was keeping Burke in the Bliss, but we got him out, just before John attacked Falls End.”

“And Pratt?”

“In the Whitetails,” Anna May winced, “I haven't gone up there yet…”

“Sounds like you have a lot on your plate then,” Hudson replied. She reached a hand out and placed it on Anna May’s arm.

“I’ll be fine here,” she said, “When I’m done, I’ll meet you and the others at the prison. I want to save this county to, and I’m not going to let those fucking Seeds walk all over us anymore.”

Anna May gave a small smile at her.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to let them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally get to write more post!John Death minus John being dead stuff and I can’t wait for the next chapter uwu


	12. Chapter 12

Anna May didn’t exactly trust John, not like before, but she wouldn’t have left him alone with Dutch if she thought Dutch wouldn’t be able to handle him. After everything John has done, she wouldn’t be surprised if what he said last time was a lie and all she will be returning to is a corpse.

But the woods outside of the bunker were quiet and Anna May was able to enter it uninterrupted. She had Faith’s book in hand. She wasn’t sure why she had brought it, but she figured Mary May or Hudson would have just thrown it out if they saw it, not that Anna May had any reason to keep the thing around anymore, but she couldn’t bring herself to toss it just yet.

Nothing looked disturbed in the hall and when she turned into the kitchen living room mix, she found Dutch sitting on the couch, waiting for her.

“How are things here,” Anna May asked. 

“They’ve been as good as they could be, considering,” Dutch said.

“And John-?” 

“Not so much.”

“He didn’t attack you, did he?” Anna May asked, already fearing the worst. Dutch shook his head.

“No, he’s been behaving, surprisingly,” Dutch raised an eyebrow at her, “Did you see the shit the cult had just put on the TV?”

“The eulogy? I did see it, but I was at a party in the Spread Eagle. It was too loud, so I didn’t really watch the whole thing,” Anna May said, “Why?”

“Kid, you need to go see your friend,” Dutch said. He stood up and walked past her and out the door.

“Dutch, what happened?” She asked, placing the book on the table and following him.

“See for yourself,” Dutch was leading her to his office, a warmly lit room covered in maps and monitors. The largest monitor had been moved from its position next to the others and was playing Joseph’s eulogy now. There was a large office chair in there facing that screen, and Anna May had a good idea of who was sitting in it.

“He’s been watching that for a while now,” Dutch said quietly to her, “People across the county were on the fritz when it first came on, so now everyone outside of Holland Valley thinks John Seed is dead too,” Dutch shook his head and gently grabbed Anna May’s arm, pulling her back into the hall.

“He damn near scared the shit out of me when I first saw it, but now I can’t get him to do or say anything, or even get out of that room,” Dutch said in a quiet voice, “He had a lot of choice words to say about you, but that stopped as soon as he saw his brother on TV. I even tried to wave a gun in his face, but nothing.”

“Dutch!” Anna May exclaimed. He shrugged.

“Listen I don’t give a shit about his feelings, kid, and I’m not going to pretend that I do,” Dutch said, “But that-“ Dutch waved a hand back towards the office, “-That's not normal. Do something about it.”

Anna May looked back at the entrance to the office and gave a sigh.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Anna May said, and left Dutch, going back into the office.

The scene was unchanged. John didn’t respond to Anna May’s footsteps. She stopped a short distance behind him and gave a cough.

“I’m back,” Anna May said, forcing herself to sound cheerful, “I, uh, got everyone out. I think a lot of peg- your people got out too, but they didn’t stick around. I told everyone that you’re died and I think that worked, even Joseph thinks so-“

Shit, she shouldn’t have said that. Anna May wracked her brain to find something else to say.

“You saw this, haven't you?” John said as Anna May opened her mouth to speak again. 

“I-uh…,” Anna May began to stutter, then shook her head, “Some of it. John, I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t be,” he said. He hasn’t turned around to face her, but continued to watch the television again, watching the loop repeat once more.

“I can list the things my brother said about me for you. Naive. A monster. _Not good._ And he’s right,” John gave a shuddering breath. Anna May stood there and watched him, waiting for him to speak more.

“I did everything he asked of me. I left everything I had behind for him and for Jacob. I would have set the whole world on fire if Joseph asked me to. But nothing I did was ever good enough for him,” John turned to face her. He wasn’t angry, but his face was twisted up into something else. Anna May felt awful watching him, seeming to watch John Seed break apart right in front of her.

“You said he tried to message me, back at that home weeks ago?”

“Yeah,” Anna May shifted in her spot.

“Why did you try to warn me? What are you getting out of all of this?”

Anna May shuffled in her spot, crossing her arms and directing her attention to the concrete ground below them. John was silent, waiting for a response from her. She finally took a deep breath.

“I don’t enjoy fighting Eden’s Gate, and I especially don’t enjoy killing the peggies,” Anna May winced when she mentioned them.

“I’ve never had to pull a gun on anyone before all of this, much less kill anyone, but that's all I’ve been doing since the arrest is killing people, because of what your brother told them to do,” Anna May continued, “It doesn’t make me feel good, but I kept pushing anyway, doing what I felt like it had to be done. It finally got to the point where I had to either give up or become numb to it.”

Anna May looked back up at John, who was still watching her.

“There was a time where I wanted to kill you too. I knew our fight was inevitable and I knew that at some point, I had to be ready for it to happen.”

“So what changed?” John asked, “After everything I had done to you, to your friends, all the pain I’ve given to Hudson, why spare me?”

“John I-“

“Don’t do this to me! You wanted honesty? Prove to me that you can be honest back. _What are you trying to get out of this and why?_ ” John snapped, a new fire in his eyes, just briefly clearing them, before they glazed over again and all the fight seemed to instantly evaporate from him. 

“It’s because I felt sorry for you,” Anna May said, “As much as I didn’t want to be, but I couldn’t help it, not after I found out what you have been through. Then afterwards, when you called me, I knew something was going on that I didn’t know about, but I wasn’t sure until you told me what Joseph has been telling you. I think he’s been lying to you, but not just to you, but to Faith and Jacob as well. I wanted all of this to be resolved peacefully, but that's not going to happen, and I’m not going to stand by and let what your brother is doing continue on the way he wants it to.”

Anna May paused, wondering if she should mention her irking feeling that her fight with John was a set up by Joseph, but she decided against it. She didn’t think John could take another piece of bad news involving his brother right now.

“Is that all?”

John continued to watch her.

“No,” Anna May continued, “It’s not just that. I miss everything we had, before our fight. I miss being your friend.”

Anna May’s throat went dry and she had to pause to swallow. She finally was admitting, to him, the part of herself that she has been ignoring for years; the part that knew, despite everything that has happened, she still missed the company of John Seed.

“I miss it when we would spend hours talking about whatever was on our minds,” she continued, “how that new Chosen of Jacob’s was so obnoxious, or about that drunk guy I had to deal with three times in one week. I miss it when you would come over and me and Dolly would make popcorn and sit down to watch a movie and I’d catch the two of you staring at each other when you both thought I wasn’t looking. I miss it when it was so easy to care about you because you were my friend, not some enemy everyone keeps insisting that I have to kill. I hate that you decided to keep this part of yourself from me, and how things had to go this far before you told me what Joseph has been telling you.”

John nodded his head and looked away from Anna May, watching something that was much farther away than anything Anna May could see in the room.

“‘Easily preyed upon…,’” John gave a loud sniff and shook his head, “He warned me about you. Said you were going to do anything you can to pull me away from the plan God has for me. He thought he was right when you cut ties with me. He’s been saying it for years,” He looked down at the floor. His hands were now like claws, gripping tightly at the arm rests of the chair.

“I wanted to hear it from you,” John said, and laughed, “Isn’t that pathetic? You have been wondering why I kept doing what I was doing. I wanted to hurt you but not kill you. Do you understand why?”

“Because you wanted me to say Yes,” Anna May said. John nodded.

“I wanted you to admit that what Joseph said was true,” he said. He looked back at the TV and shook his head. He reached out at the monitor and pressed a button below it, switching it back to the camera Dutch had placed by the ranger station. He looked back up Anna May.

“It’s all because of what _I_ wanted,” he choked out, “Not because of Eden’s Gate. I believed what Joseph said, but I guess I’m just as easy to manipulate as he thinks I am. But I see it now, no matter what I do, how many people I atone, how much of myself I sacrifice for Joseph, it was never going to be good enough for him. He never cared- “ 

John’s breath hitched and he raised a hand to grip at his chest.

“I don’t believe that Joseph didn’t care about you,” Anna May said.

“You heard him.”

“He’s your brother. I read your book, would he have made as much of an effort to find you if he didn’t? Or send you that phone call?” Anna May asked. John gave her a look.

“And you’re going to still fight him? And Faith and Jacob?” He asked.

“I have to,” Anna May said, “I’m sorry, John, but I can’t keep letting your family hurt my friends.”

John gave a nod and slowly stood up, one hand gripped the back of the chair as he moved around it and he only let go when he made his way to Anna May. He reached out and grabbed her jacket, yanking her closer to him until they were almost nose to nose.

“Then you need to promise me something,” he hissed, his blue eyes drilling into her as he stared up at her, “Spare them from whatever fate your friends have for them. Jacob, Joseph, e-even Faith. Don’t let them die. Promise me!”

John was staring at her with such intensity that Anna May had trouble responding at first.

“I promise, John,” she said quietly. He immediately let go, then looked up at something behind her. Dutch was there, gun drawn on John, but when Anna May shook her head at him, he lowered it.

“You can’t be serious, kid?” He asked.

“Dutch, I’m not going to pretend it’s going to be easy,” she said, watching him. He just stared at her.

“Do you even remember what Faith Seed is like? How Joseph almost got you trapped in her bunker? And Jacob, remember how he is something you should be very fucking worried about too?” 

Dutch walked over the board where he had a map of Hope County with the Seed’s faces taped to it. He slammed a hand against it, as if to drive his point home. Anna May grimaced.

“And no offense,” Dutch glared at John,” But I don’t trust you with _shit._ Not after everything your family and their cult has been doing. I can’t believe that you would turn on your brother because he hurt your feelings?”

John stared straight at him but didn’t say anything.

“Dutch, it wouldn’t hurt to try,” Anna May said. Dutch scowled.

“Kid, you’re making it very hard for me to tell whose side you’re on in this,” Dutch said, “First you don’t kill John Seed, now you want to spare the rest of them? Don’t you care about the Resistance?”

“How can you say that,” Anna May asked, hurt, “Of course I do! I want to stop Eden’s Gate as much as you do but I can’t just shoot everything and everyone that gets in my way!”

“Why not when it’s easy enough for them?” Dutch said. He took some steps closer towards John and Anna May.

“I know you wish that life was some fairy tale where you can talk through your problems, but this is real fucking life, and you both need a reality check,” he looked at John, “Say you both are successful, then what? Your family is going to prison, and you’re just going to be fine with that?!”

“Unless the Collapse comes before then,” John pointed out. Dutch sneered.

“You both are going to get yourselves killed doing something as stupid as this,” Dutch said.

“Not if we’re careful,” Anna May said, “The only people who know John is still alive are in this room, the rest of the county doesn’t. We can keep it that way, maybe convince Faith and Jacob to fake their deaths as well-“

“Fake their deaths, are you out of your mind?”

“I’m just spitting out some ideas, Dutch!” Anna May said, exasperated, “If you think we can’t do it, then help us! I want to stop Joseph Seed as much as you do, but we don’t need to become enemies over this!”

“No, you just want me to befriend yours,” Dutch said.

“Having my family alive would make this county getting the justice you want for it much easier,” John said in a dead voice.

“And a bullet wouldn’t do the same thing?” Dutch said.

“Not if you want to prove to a court that your Resistance was innocent,” John said, “Think of the long term goal, Mr. Roosevelt. You can kill everyone in the Project, but who outside of this county is going to believe the police and its citizens were attacked by a group the size of the Project? We managed to keep away, undetected, from the government for years, that's the reason we came to Hope County in the first place. They know nothing, so who's to say they will believe you when you announce that you killed the leaders of a religious organization, especially when your own leaders are made up of estranged preppers, yourself included. You need witnesses, and what better witnesses are there than the ones who were in charge?”

“We have a _federal marshal_ ,” Dutch iterated slowly.

“A federal marshal who, if I remember correctly, has been in Eden’s Gate custody for weeks and is in no condition, currently, to give a viable and believable testimony. You can’t find Bliss in the hands of any regular American and it’ll take time for them to complete an investigation, enough time to keep what's left of the Project away from prison.”

As John was talking, the look on Dutch’s face slowly changed from anger to something that is unreadable.

“There may be a warrant on my brother, but there won’t be any evidence to justify any real punishment without anything to back up that video, not if all of your best witnesses are dead or not sound in mind,” John continued, “And I promise you, you won’t have any good witnesses if you harm my siblings.”

Dutch continued to stare at him, then he chuckled.

“Huh, you just really like to hear yourself talk,” he said. He looked at Anna May.

“Do you believe any of the shit that is coming out of his mouth?” Dutch asked. Anna May shared a look with John.

“Yeah, I do,” Anna May said, “Worse comes to worse, you can always handcuff them to a bed.”

John gave Dutch and Anna May a confused look as Dutch bursted out laughing.

“I could! I could!” He said.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t,” John said. Dutch shook his head and looked down at the gun in his hand, putting it away and sighing.

“I can’t believe I’m fucking doing this,” he muttered. He clapped his hands together.

“So. Where do we start?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how late this is! I’ve been busy but I haven’t forgotten about this series! I wanted to give this chapter a lot of edits to make what I was going for clear, especially since I don’t want it to read off as “Oh John has learned the error of his ways.”
> 
> No he really hasn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit, is that another Far Cry fic?! Yep, and this time its gonna be longer than To Hope is, oops. I put too much on my plate. Also this one is a series! Enjoy!


End file.
